Many of you know about my inadvertent slip-up. I sent a mass email out to everyone who's a member of WE when I meant to send it to my own group: Mindful Poetry. But the consequence was delightful. There were volumes of triolets (a poetry form for the month of June featured in my poetry group) submitted.
There were also many responses to my prompt that included a canary and the word divided. I was truly humbled by the superior efforts I read. But there were a few submissions that could use some revision. I can say that because I've never written anything that didn't need at least a second look and a new word inserted. In fact, in response to my prompt from last week, I took an old poem and revised it adding in my prompts. You can read it here.
Revision is what I want each of you to do. Take an old post, copy it to a blank posting then above it, write your revision.
- Revision works best on something that you haven't looked at for a long time. When you can look at a piece with new eyes, you'll see the problems more readily.
- Revising something that is close to your heart can be difficult. If you can put some emotional space between yourself and your work, the revision will flow more smoothly.
- Revision includes
- adding and subtracting words,
- switching the order of the words, and
- replacing one word with another.
Here on Gather, we have the advantage of posting a piece of writing and having others comment on it. As I've alluded to previously, most of the comments here are praise in nature, not constructive. Hopefully since last week, you've been flexing your commentary muscles and have been commenting on others' work with an eye on improvement and a heart for encouragement.
Some suggestions to revision: change the verb tense, change the POV, in poetry--eliminate every other line, read it out loud, read it backwards, change the genre or style.
Be sure to add WWE to your tags. This helps me immensely to find your work and comment on it. I try to comment on every submission to my Writing Essentials column. If I've missed yours, let me know.
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Comments: 25
it is necessary to revise
An interesting assignment
I must revise a poem I wrote on a Valentine's Day card years and a few days ago.
I wrote: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're so sweet, like bubblegum I chew. The young lass, my affectionate verse was for, said "eew,' rather disdainfully, so I guess you can understand why she wouldn't dance with me at the sock hop. Today, being somewhat more mature, I would write:
Roses are the variety in your smile
Violets hold the tenderness of eyes so blue
Sugar is bad for you, but you're a sweet Peppermint Patty.
This of course would have to be revised if the significant other does not have blue eyes. It's not good to be flirtatious because then you must revise all the time and have a 1 in 6 chance of having frog legs for dinner. That verse has certainly made me Mr. Romantic.
susan,
another thing revision can include, for me, is rearranging the order of paragraphs, sentences, or lines. sometimes the best lead or opening line is hidden within the piece, and that is often easier to see when the article or poem is finished.
Sounds like a good exercise. I'm not like Wilhelmine, able to crank out a short story every day for weeks. I wrote a 2500 word short story for submission to a contest many weeks ago. I revised it many times a day, then at least daily, then let it rest for a couple weeks, then the cycle started over. I would think it was ready for submission, then reread it and make changes as you describe. To me, it's an instructive exercise. It's not about winning the contest. It's about learning by doing and then subjecting to expert critique.
I love revision, but also practise reversion.
;-]
I like it when people own their errors, and even more so when the error yields such positive results. You're a good teacher.
I've always approached revision like a game, and have found that I actually enjoy it immensely! If I get my roster of writing deadlines met at a reasonable time will try to submit something.
Oh heavens...the revision monster rears its ugly head ;-) Just joking Susan, I know it is a necessary evil, but one I usually put off. Thanks for making me own it today, I'll look for something to work on and submit. Great topic!
I always revise to make sure my work runs smoothly and sounds like someone else is reading it. That's not my problem. See my problem is spelling and punkuation.
My first ever story(I am 72) has been completed and being edited by a professional editor. I get lots of critiques and I go on amending,altering and rearranging paragraphs. It is a full novel and hope that after the editing I will find a publisher.
Please look at my short stories submission on the Gather. I would appreciate your views on them. Regards.
Thanks for posting an interesting exercise!
Sounds great, I'll do it.
I am glad that you found folks like me with your mass email. I have now joined the poetry group, however.
Cool - I've posted one
Another fantastic prompt... and this time, I hope to participate!
Excellent article, Susan. Thanks.
(I'm still working on the triolet thingie)
My Gathers wasn't playing nicely this morning. (Couldn't get any where or do anything.) With that, not entirely thrilled with the rewrite either, but this was an old, old article, that I won a contest with, a few years ago. Seemed a bit much, to me, so took it back down to normal English, again. lol - The Distant Crevasse
Fantastic article. I think we all know that feeling of accomplishment when you place the last word of a poem, short story, or novel on the page. And then to have to go back and perform surgery, sometimes reconstruct the piece to the point where it does not even vaguely resemble the original draft, is daunting. But the rewards are well worth the time and effort.
A fantastic prompt.
Featured in the Triple Name Club.
I have been so dang busy, But I will do this one. May be a day or two. Thanks, glad I found you!
I haven't written a thing lately, but now I do know that I can still attempt the triolet for your other group -- must join!
I'll find something and revise or re-revise as I'm always doing that and it still needs more. I hope to actually write something soon.
Marilyn
I look forward to your submission to either Mindful Poetry or WWE.
Now I wish I'd had time to gather on Wednesday, but I did revise a few chapters of my WIP.