Jodi Arias is where she should be right nowÂ—behind barsÂ—and in that environment this lethal lady poses no real danger to anyone anywhere anymore anyhow. Except perhaps to those of her fellow inmates who themselves are considered to be dangerous.
Where this diabolical defendant definitely did not belong, however, not even for one brief minute, was on the witness stand. Unless, of course, her attorney secretly harbored a desire to see her convicted.
Ditto for being plastered all over prime time TV and the internet with wanton and salacious accounts of raunchy sex between her and a now-sullied victim. Even, purportedly, on the very night she's alleged to have stabbed him to death 27 times as he showered, and then in an afterthought shot him once in the head.
The 200 and then some questions the accused murderess blundered through in her own defense, conducted during 18 individual Q and A sessions from both the prosecution and a thoroughly unconvinced jury, has hardly provided the airtight defense Arias was presumably after.
Nor did it earn her any public sympathy, either. Although, if what the pretty, formerly blonde nymphomaniac was really striving to garner with her triple X testimony was lots and lots of media attention, well then, there is no question she achieved this perverse objective.
Her many faces, her heinous acts, her shamelessness and obsessions, her promiscuity Â… everything, together with Arias' deeply disordered personality, has been laid bare as the trial progressed.
Now, all the world is free to simultaneously admire and revile this violent, seedy exhibitionist. Or merely scratch and shake their heads in amazementÂ…and change the dial.
Casey Anthony clone
Arias has stated her belief that, once all is said and done, she'll either be declared an innocent femme fataleÂ—the victim of her own victim, as she's now insistingÂ—or else be granted a reprieve through a mistrial.
But neither scenario is likely to happen now, what with both of her feet firmly planted in her mouth, and her murderous accounts varying so widely that even the self-defense pleading she offered essentially at the last minute seems positively ludicrous.
Especially so since forensic evidence indicates Arias had only about a 62-second window of opportunity to find and grab a knife, a camera, a handgun and other accessories she is said to have employed when she "spontaneously" decided to end her alleged abuser's life in a bloodbath.
Setting aside those nonsensical stories, it seems obvious by the defendant's performance in the witness box, that she has drawn some parallels between her own murder trial and that of the successfully acquitted Casey Anthony in 2011.
Anthony's surprise verdict flew in the face of logic and probability, and it's exactly the same outcome Arias probably hopes she'll obtain if she can distract jurors with extraneous "facts" that shift their attention away from the crime itself.
But this strategy too reveals the degree to which Arias is delusional, because the truth-challenged Casey Anthony wasn't stupid enough to admit to killing anybody, and when it counted the most she kept her mouth shut, instead of risking getting snagged in an equally wacky web of lies and half truths.
It's also notable that Anthony's alleged victim was a small child, not an adult, and because she delayed in reporting her daughter missing, it took so long to locate the toddler's remains that it was by then impossible to accurately determine what she had died from, when, and in what manner.
On the other hand, when a man has been viciously stabbed over two dozen times, to the point where his head is nearly chopped off, there is no doubt in anyone's mind that his death was a homicide.
There is also the tiny matter of DNA, which the Alexander crime scene revealed two distinct strands of. That evidence was discovered intermingled in the victim's blood and other bodily fluids then later identified as solely belonging to Alexander and Arias.
Not guilty nonetheless
Travis Alexander was a good-looking young man with very kind eyes who had everything to live for, and his self-confessed killer a new breed of sociopath going nowhere in a hurry. One living trouble free for most of her life but ticking away like a time bomb until the day she'd meet the individual destined to trip her wire.
By the summer of 2008, Arias was seething with resentment about her dismal prospects and channeling all her rage toward an on-again-off-again lover who, at best, only wanted her for naughty sex once in a while. Thus, a countdown began leading to her explosion.
The record suggests that when this woman-scorned finally understood the deal with her ex-boyfriend, she began stalking and menacing him, both in the real world and online, in what would appear to be the first steps of a premeditated plan for murder and revenge. That plot would also include torching Alexander's dead body and his home with gallons upon gallons of gasoline pre-purchased days or even weeks in advance.
Whether she executed the brutal crime herself, who really knowsÂ—it does take a great deal of physical strength to actually knife someone multiple times and slit their throat almost in halfÂ—but the slender female succeeded in pulling off this Herculean task without a hitch and in record timing, though apparently forgetting to bring the matches and/or gas.
Regardless, Jodi Arias should not be found responsible for Alexander's murder now, be it self-defense, intentional, premeditated, or otherwise.
Because even if she comes off highly intelligent or cruelly cunning, even if caught patently lying or totally red-handed, hers is still a crazy tale as told by a raving idiot.
Not guilty then, by reason of insanity.
Illustration by Eponymous Rox