A walk into Night, SunWinks! Sunday Gather...

O penitence pain you cloud my mind to gray

Cut short the breath of life I strain to bear

And all seems not the all that was before

As life seems less as I compare this snare

Yet cries my soul to see the other side

Must we flow into the sewer’s smelly stench

And soil what is a memory of better days

Is this a piece of purgatory to preview

And what good is blame to set ablaze?

Yet cries my soul to see the other side

Out of reach of pleasantly worded phrase

I seek to rid these restricted retched reigns

Only to gasp another breath in fierce reply

And take another pill ‘til none remains

Yet cries my soul to see the other side

As darkness is the other side of light

And all is made to balance out our world

When once we slide into that dark

A test of will and strength has unfurled

Yet cries my soul to see the other side.

Comments: 48

wendy st. john-devereaux Mar 3, 2013, 7:13pm UTC

oh my, from this i can certainly tell that you are not feeling very well today----but better than yesterday.....

this is very dark, but seeking the light nevertheless....a sign you are doing better....

hope the dr. has good news for you on thurs....

take care, papa and linda
blessings

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 8:19pm UTC

blees you and thanks for the positive vibes

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 8:37pm UTC

bless

reply to this comment

Priya P. Mar 3, 2013, 7:25pm UTC

for me, this prompt was very difficult but you pulled it off very well. it's very dark but like wendy said, seeking light is always a good thing. I wish you well.

congrats!
Featured with grace in the The Surreal Circus.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 8:37pm UTC

health colors our worldlll thanks for the feature and wish

Priya P. Mar 3, 2013, 8:47pm UTC

thanks for helping me moderate today, worked out well as one of my employees quit and im here working till midnight. have a wonderful night.

Robert - just a simple man - B. Mar 3, 2013, 9:11pm UTC

The Brave Achilles
Did Not Defeat The Darkness [but]
He Doth Inspires

seek the light my friend and share it through your pen

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 9:38pm UTC

I am boldened by your comment my friend

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 4, 2013, 12:02am UTC

welcome, priya as I am glad to be feeling well enough to write and think

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Ann Wilmer-Lasky Mar 3, 2013, 8:46pm UTC

This is well written and speaks volumes to me, but then I am ever a shadow poet.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 11:10pm UTC

and I believe a poet must show their true feelings in their expressions and the dark ness is also a side of life..rhanks for your meaningful comment

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Len Maxwell Mar 3, 2013, 8:48pm UTC

This is not the type of thing I enjoy reading, but you wrote it well.

Thank you for sharing with Gather’s Luminous Writers & Artists.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 11:13pm UTC

it is a side of life hard to share but a part of the human experience...appreciate your honesty, Len

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Robert - just a simple man - B. Mar 3, 2013, 9:14pm UTC

The Brave Achilles
Did Not Defeat The Darkness [but]
He Doth Inspires

seek the light my friend and share it through your pen

reply to this comment

Doug Westberg Mar 3, 2013, 10:31pm UTC

Wow. Powerful, profound, smoothly executed. Some very nice, pro touches--alliteration, lines likes the following:

And all seems not the all that was before

And take another pill ‘til none remains

Puts one in mind of Robert Frost. Featured on GWE. Thank you for playing! Hope you're OK.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 11:27pm UTC

sometimes it is difficult writing from raw emotions as I was so sick the day before I wrote this, I was completely incapaciated...But was inspired by you and Susans prompt and had never done a litany...so I thank you both...and am honored and am feeling better

Doug Westberg Mar 3, 2013, 11:31pm UTC

Oh good. You are really finding your voice!

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 11:34pm UTC

I appreciate your words, Doug thanks

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 5, 2013, 1:09pm UTC

I agree with Doug. This litany reads beautifully. Strong, consistent meter and rhyme.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 5, 2013, 2:19pm UTC

thanks so much for this comment, Susan

reply to this comment

Priscilla P. Mar 3, 2013, 11:05pm UTC

Must we flow into the sewer’s smelly stench

And soil what is a memory of better days"
It does seem that is the case
So what is with the Doc on Thursday?

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 11:32pm UTC

I felt like sewer water, hadn't slept for 2 nights and had sever breathing problems..went to Dr early Sat. morn, got meds, slep all day woke up better Sun. ran across Dougs and Susans post to write a litany which was perfect for for how I felt. My follow up for Dr. is Thur... I am thinking of standing down on the Shattered Pretty as I feel that I am Over my head in that genre..but U faire queen must sprinkle that magic dust

Priscilla P. Mar 4, 2013, 10:09pm UTC

I want you to regain your spunk--your spark is firing. Take very good care of your precious self and return to us just as soon as you feel the urge.

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 5, 2013, 1:11pm UTC

pneumonia?

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 5, 2013, 2:23pm UTC

could be I go back to Dr to see this Thur. I'm on 60mg prednisone and 1000mg of antibiotic

Priscilla P. Mar 7, 2013, 4:06pm UTC

What did the doc say today? That is mucho antibiotic you are on

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 7, 2013, 5:18pm UTC

that was a substitute Dr. I saw Saturday..Today my Dr said that one prescribed too much prednisone and the wrong antibiotic so everthing has changed for the better...x-ray showed just a small prob.in one lung...thank you for asking Priscilla...I'm gon'a get to feeling better

Priscilla P. Mar 13, 2013, 9:27pm UTC

Are you better this day? Do you feel like you are getting enough oxygen?

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 13, 2013, 9:45pm UTC

yes, 98% is normal for me...I went down to 94% and now 96%..so am improving..thank you nurse...really...i used to be a paramedic and have worked in ER's too....and we are big studiers of alternative meds

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 13, 2013, 9:47pm UTC

I am also using an Oregano tinture from Turkey that is helping

Priscilla P. Mar 15, 2013, 12:38pm UTC

Where do you put the Oregano tincture from Turkey?
Hey, that has a nice ring: I bet you can make that a poem?

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 15, 2013, 1:18pm UTC

ha.. yes ..my wife is the researcher of the house. It has some amazing cure data.. i sniff it up my nose w salt spray, we put it in boiling water an breathe it...i'll get you the link...there is regular and water soluble,,we use both and there is a chemical in it that needs to be 85%....Linda's going to send me a link,,, yes tinture from Turkey, an adventure quite quirky

Priscilla P. Mar 15, 2013, 1:41pm UTC

Is your oxygen level quite perky
Using your tincture from Turkey

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 15, 2013, 2:06pm UTC

yes, onr pt. from normal...mainlt working on clearing my sinuseses with steam ,oreg and sea salt, thanks

reply to this comment

Barbara H. Mar 3, 2013, 11:45pm UTC

It is good that writers can expound, create, still GIVE, even while effort is cruel
because THEN the reader can gift back in expounding on the ways the writer has impressed, has made a difference and is loved...would be missed because he kissed so sweetly with his talent. Such clear writing prompts clear understanding....

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 3, 2013, 11:53pm UTC

and it is of this writing that renews me my friend and your comments inspire me to share for as I give,so I receive...bless you

reply to this comment

elizabeth evans Mar 4, 2013, 7:51am UTC

I have no desire to see the other side, thank you very much. I'm quite content to enjoy this side as long as the good times continue.

  Featured in Triple Name Club.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 4, 2013, 8:20am UTC

it is a grand outlook you have as life is a marvelous gift to experience...mine has been full to the brim and transition is just part of it, maybe like a vacation to a tropical paradise, all expenses paid? May your good times continue...thanks for the feature, EE

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JOHN BECK Mar 4, 2013, 11:25am UTC

The litany form works well for this outpouring of dark emotion. Well done.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 4, 2013, 3:24pm UTC

thank you, John for the understanding..it was perfect timing for my morose

reply to this comment

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 5, 2013, 1:16pm UTC

A very worthy read, Richard.

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Mar 5, 2013, 1:21pm UTC

A Mindful Poetry comment:

As a form, I'm not finding litany to fullfill the requirements. I'd term litany more as a poetic technique.

This poem, here, Richard, employs methods from blank verse, kyrielle, and chant. It's an amazing piece; one that I'd like to read over and over through time.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 5, 2013, 2:29pm UTC

what an encouraging comment and honor

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A. F. Stewart Mar 10, 2013, 10:58am UTC

A strong poem.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 10, 2013, 11:21am UTC

thanks, AF gott'a get those dark emotions out...helps make me well

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Sheila Deeth Mar 13, 2013, 7:25pm UTC

Beautifully haunting.

Richard Lynn Livesay Mar 13, 2013, 7:39pm UTC

a little dark but can't be sunshine every day....how are you and your right brain/ left brain balance, literary/scientist...I ran across some collaborative poems with your name on them the other day ...may post some here...thank U for the comment

Sheila Deeth Mar 13, 2013, 8:33pm UTC

I remember enjoying those collaborations.

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A walk into Night, SunWinks! Sunday Gather Writing Essential March 3, 2013 Litany (SunWE)

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Comments: 48

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