Vent - Neighbors

For the most part my neighbors are very good people.  Sure they have their ups and downs, but I like many of them so I enjoy where I live.  There's one couple that I hang out with a lot who live across the parking lot.  They really do give me pause, though.

I love the female in the couple.  Her name is Bethany.  And I like their roommate; his name is Mike.  But the male in the couple scares me a little bit.  Doug just doesn't seem like good people to me.

Originially in the unit was an older man.  He was quiet and kept to himself for the most part.  He worked as a delivery man for Pizza Hut, and from what I found out, he had esophageal cancer.  I never saw this man's family around, even when he was dying.  It wasn't until maybe the last week of this man's life that his son, Doug, started showing up, put him into the hospital, then hospice and then Doug's father died.

Right after, Doug moved in.  Doug's father owned the unit, but was still paying down his mortgage.  So it was inherited.  When I first saw Doug, I thought he did drugs.  He has many tattoos, his teeth are almost completely rotted out of his head (he says due to periodonatal disease), he's abrassive, dresses like a slob and (now) even sports a mohawk.

From what I have seen, Doug does not do drugs - minus drinking beer, smoking and his hookah - which I have never seen him put anything other than flavored tobacco in. I don't even see Doug smoke cigerattes at all, so that may just be the roommate, Mike. 

Not soon after Doug moved in, he started dating a woman named Bethany.  She is a nice woman, bigger in size, but sweet, hard working and caring.  The two hadn't dated maybe two weeks according to her - but I think it was maybe a month or two from what I gather - when she moved up here from across town.  So now the two have lived together for probably a year.

In moved Mike, Doug's cousin who moved down from Seattle.  Mike is a gay, bald guy who formerly worked as a bartender.  He moved out for a short time when he found a roommate situation down in Pheonix, but it didn't work out so he has come back.  Mike has two part time jobs and is saving up his money so that he can again move out and live on either his own or with another roommate.

But what bothers me is Doug.  As I said, he can be abrassive at times.  He's pretty rough in how he treats Bethany with his words (not physically according to her).  I feel he doesn't respect her and uses her in a lot of ways. 

I don't know how Doug's life was before he moved here, but since he moved here, he has not had a job.  There was a short stint where he had a job for three hours (yes, I said hours).  So, basically Doug lives off of Bethany.  She supports them and Mike tries to help out when he can, but he only just got the second job, so it's been real tough.

Doug seems to want everything, but doesn't provide for anything.  He has to have cable TV.  He has to go out drinking a lot with his friends.  He needs to go out to dinner once or twice a week at places like Applebees or Cheesecake Factory.  He wants his Bronco repaired so he can go off-roading and join a camping/off-roading group he is a part of on-line.

When once on a road trip, Bethany's car broke down.  Something was wrong with it's refurbished transmission.  Instead of fixing it because it was her only vehicle, Doug convinced her to sell it.  Told her it wouldn't be worth the money to fix it.  So now Bethany is dependant on Doug for a vehicle.  They used the money to pay down bills they were getting behind on.

Once I made the mistake of bringing up in a conversation that Bethany was dependant on him for tranportation and how limiting that must feel.  He snapped at me.  Told me he's survived over thirty years on his own with out her and if she doesn't like the God-damned situation she can get off her fat ass and leave.  He didn't need her.  She went into the house and cried in the bathroom.  I felt like an ass.

There are times I don't know how Bethany takes it.  He spends all her money, they are so far in debt.  (This weekend, she told me they were two months behind on most things.)  Doug goes out drinking with his friends and he doesn't even invite her.  In my opinion, he verbally abuses her and she keeps going on. 

At one point, she shared a letter that she received on FaceBook from another woman asking if Doug was really her boyfriend or not because she was interested.  Now whether this was a for real letter or Doug having one of his friends mess with Bethany's mind, either way, something is messed up.  Why does this woman feel the need to write this letter?  Does Doug flirt in the bars or was this a mind-messing act by the woman, him or the both?

The other night I was over there home for Margarita night since it was Official Margarita Day (who made this a holiday I will never know).  From the moment I got there I could tell Doug was in a bad mood.  I think it was because he continues to invite his friends over for Beer Pong and fewer and fewer are coming.  The only hold outs are me (because it's close and if I get drunk I can walk across the parking lot) and a guy who is friends with Doug but is interested in me. 

Now why the other friends aren't coming, I don't know.  Maybe they feel the same way I do and it's hard being around Doug's anger.  I know one now has a girlfriend, so I'm sure she is taking up more of his time.  But I think Doug is seeing the depleation of his friends and is getting more agrivated.  And I'm sure it doesn't help seeing James come over because he wants to spend time with me.

So that night I watched Doug get more and more snappish.  He went off on Bethany almost immediately and she didn't respond.  This made Doug more negative.  He packed up his Beer Pong game, sat on the couch and started texting a bunch of other people.  He wouldn't respond to Bethany, James nor I.  Finally he went into the bedroom, got dressed and told James they were going to the bar.  Mike the roommate might be joining them on his way home from another bar.  It felt like Doug was pissed so he was taking his toys (James) and leaving.

For the rest of the evening I got to listen to Bethany unload her feelings.  She is so unhappy.  She cries every time I see her alone.  Her mother is begging her to go live with her, but Bethany is scared to leave because she doesn't have a car.  She seems to love Doug, but I seriously wonder how she can put up with all his verbal abuse.  To me, it seems like he is just one step away from snapping and smacking her one day.  I think the only reason he doesn't is because he knows his meal ticket would be gone.

I held off for a long time, because I didn't want to get involved, but on Friday I told Bethany if she ever gets into a jam she can rent my small room from me but she would have to pay me.  (This being said so she gets the idea he has to pull her weight or get out - even though I already know she does more than her share at her own place.  This is my own issue because I am currently feel like I'm being used by a coworker for rides.)

God I hope she's OK.  I hope Doug either straightens his shit out (which I doubt) or she finally gets the balls to leave him.  I think she's in a desperately tough situation and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.  To her, there is no light because she is in such debt and doesn't have a car.  I'm scared for her.  The longer she stays there the more he is going to get used to how he treats her and just accept it.  I don't think anyone she be treated or used like that. 

But... that's just me venting.  G'night.