I just read a report from Today.com about "you're not invited" alerts. Apparently, since people are using social networks like Facebook to issue invitations to weddings, the budget conscious are sending these "you're not invited" notes to people they don't wish to include. People who receive them react with disappointment or anger. Big surprise there. Even if I didn't want to go and had no intentions to go, this would anger me.
I've had several family weddings where I didn't receive an invitation. It was just assumed I'd be there. I teased my niece about crashing her first wedding. Other family weddings, like my uncle's last wedding, he invited his brothers but none of their children. That wasn't a hardship. I'd have gone if invited, but didn't mind not being included.
Then I think about my mother's wedding. She wanted a simple wedding with two witnesses. While telling her to do what she wanted, I admitted I minded not being invited. She invited her brothers, sister and children. At least one relative by marriage brought her daughter and mother, too, people my mother didn't know well and would never have invited. I can understand wanting to keep your wedding small or to just the people you want to invite.
Still, I feel like these "you're not invited" notes are just rude. Whether it is sent by the wedding planner or the bride or groom, it seems like a slap in the face. If you don't want everyone to come, don't invite people with a mass message on your social network. All the ones I've seen have ways to contact friends with messages not everyone sees. Angering groups of people before your wedding doesn't seem like a good way to start a marriage.