Writing can be fun (Genre Shorties week 138)

Prompt: I just read an article by Mark O'Connell about whether Amanda McKittrick Ros was the worst novelist in history and was amused (and/or horrified) by this passage:

One thing that is clear about Ros’ prose is its aversion to calling a thing by its name. Eyes are “globes of glare.” When their owners are unhappy, these globes are “stuffed with sorrow.” Trousers are not trousers; they are “the southern necessary.”

Please describe a person or object without naming it specifically--
"globes of glare," NOT "eyes"
"square slice of baked wheat," NOT "bread"
"metal traveling contraption," NOT "car"

Here are some completely optional suggestions to (NOT) use ~

eyes
eggs
armadillo (hey... I hardly EVER mention them anymore)
suitcase
spaghetti
computer
bed

And because you'll need more words to play with, you can go up to 150!

Go!

Your story may be serious or lighthearted or as silly as you like so long as it is 150 or fewer words.

Post your stories to Genre Shorties.

 

 

Perpetually stuffed fabric cotton coils caressed the cool layer of downy brown curls and slender form. Full of laborious crusty slumber, her outrageously oval raccoon lined ovals fluttered rapidly. Properly chastising herself for missing the buzz that normally aroused her muscles, her jaws cracked open wide.

Sniffing the area, she padded toward the box of her destruction, the daily grind that called from the top of her grandiose sized department store, otherwise known as a desk.

Opening the windows into her soul, the keys pounded. Files zipped, whirred, chirped, but mostly froze. Rounded surfaces tapped, rapped and crap, they chipped! The ladies would be annoyed during the next round of acrylic tips applied to the tops of the gnarly, grotesque pink ovals.

Fully unwound now, her joints popped.

Crime never stops. Neither does fashion.

Writing novels can be ever so much fun.

...................(142 words)