I don't have the flu. Here's a copy of an e-mail I sent a BFF who was chipping at me for not seeing a doctor (she'd missed my second e-mail).
I did too go to the doctor! Monday afternoon. So there! Plb-b-b-b-b-b-blt! Yeah... yeah... I know... Sunday would have been better... Saturday even better than that.
Anyway, the bronchitis I have could turn into "walking" pneumonia, so I'm taking antibiotics (to kill the bacteria) and steroids (to open the bronchii), pseudo-ephedrine (generic Sudafed - to dry up my nose), cough medicine (to stop this annoying and useless hack) and tylenol (to knock back the fever). Oh, yeah... the fever finally showed up today -- it was 99.9 F (oral) when I got home this evening. I was, in fact -- as I predicted, draggin' ass when I got home.
This crap makes thinking a hit-or-miss proposition. At about 3:00 this afternoon I suddenly realized that I had a 4:00 p.m. appointment with my Urologist about those pesky kidney stones, and I was gonna be late. I jumped in the car and took off, called the Dr.'s office and told them I'd be about ten minutes late and listened closely to the traffic reports. Luckily, none were between me and the doctor. I walked into the office and said, smug as you please, "Got it exactly -- ten minutes late."
"And one day early," said the receptionist.
My ever-ready repartee' coming naturally to my rescue, I said, "Er..?"
"Your appointment is tomorrow," she held up her hand as I started to speak, "but they'll see you today, since you're here." BIG smile.
"Right through this door, Mr. Larlham."
So the Urologist's PA took a look at my new X-ray and said, "That's a mess. You have too damn many stones. Let's do a new round of tests before the doctor does any more procedures." I now have TWO orders for lab work (one is for my annual physical) -- each with a dozen or more tests, one of which calls for two gallon jugs for a 24-hour urination test.
I'd like to buy a vowel... and a brain.