For everyone who's been worried about whether I...

I don't have the flu. Here's a copy of an e-mail I sent a BFF who was chipping at me for not seeing a doctor (she'd missed my second e-mail).

I did too go to the doctor! Monday afternoon. So there! Plb-b-b-b-b-b-blt! Yeah... yeah... I know... Sunday would have been better... Saturday even better than that.

Anyway, the bronchitis I have could turn into "walking" pneumonia, so I'm taking antibiotics (to kill the bacteria) and steroids (to open the bronchii), pseudo-ephedrine (generic Sudafed - to dry up my nose), cough medicine (to stop this annoying and useless hack) and tylenol (to knock back the fever). Oh, yeah... the fever finally showed up today -- it was 99.9 F (oral) when I got home this evening. I was, in fact -- as I predicted, draggin' ass when I got home.

This crap makes thinking a hit-or-miss proposition. At about 3:00 this afternoon I suddenly realized that I had a 4:00 p.m. appointment with my Urologist about those pesky kidney stones, and I was gonna be late. I jumped in the car and took off, called the Dr.'s office and told them I'd be about ten minutes late and listened closely to the traffic reports. Luckily, none were between me and the doctor. I walked into the office and said, smug as you please, "Got it exactly -- ten minutes late."

"And one day early," said the receptionist.

My ever-ready repartee' coming naturally to my rescue, I said, "Er..?"

"Your appointment is tomorrow," she held up her hand as I started to speak, "but they'll see you today, since you're here." BIG smile.

"Um..."

"Right through this door, Mr. Larlham."

So the Urologist's PA took a look at my new X-ray and said, "That's a mess. You have too damn many stones. Let's do a new round of tests before the doctor does any more procedures." I now have TWO orders for lab work (one is for my annual physical) -- each with a dozen or more tests, one of which calls for two gallon jugs for a 24-hour urination test.

I'd like to buy a vowel... and a brain.

Comments: 16

Kevin E. Jan 30, 2013, 12:00am UTC

You have been through a lot but you write about in a very funny way, your talent even comes out when you describe a particularly hard day.

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Betty S. Jan 30, 2013, 12:50am UTC

Oh Mercy Chuck.. You poor soul you.. I hope you get taken care of real soon.. it sounds like you are in a mess of pain..

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Kathryn Flynn Jan 30, 2013, 1:27am UTC

yikes yikees yikes

get ridda dem stones.

yikes yikes yikes

sure write good tho!

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David Prosser Jan 30, 2013, 1:40am UTC

Sorry Chuck, the vowel and brain supply seem to have dried up somewhat unless there is a black market in those things somewhere. If there is I'm not sure you should be looking. After all, you don't know who's mouth last contained the vowel and you certainly don't know what kind of a brain you're getting. It might be one of those that does Sodoku all day. Much better you stick with what you've got but try to exercise them a little more.
Hope you're feeling better soon.

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Bernard C. Jan 30, 2013, 3:04am UTC

Most unexpected - sorry to hear of your health problems - hope that they are helped soon and you are feeling much better for it. Btw I once heard a story that from drinking Tonic Water (especially those with canine in it) is out of bounds for a lot of people as it causes kidney stones...am not sure if this is true but maybe it might worth asking the specialists about.. the diet and such. Good luck and be well

Thank you for sharing and submitting to
The Surreal Circus.

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KittyKutabare aka Candy Pole Jan 30, 2013, 5:22am UTC

Thanks for sharing in the Triple Name Club.

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Chuck Larlham Jan 30, 2013, 6:01am UTC

As I told a Canadian cousin who over-worries about me, "I have the immune system of a Komodo Dragon. I won't die of being sick."

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Dave A. Jan 30, 2013, 7:33am UTC

This too shall pass.

:~)

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JOHN BECK Jan 30, 2013, 8:05am UTC

So, except for your respiratory tract and your urinary tract, you're doing OK? :)

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Katryn D. Jan 30, 2013, 8:16am UTC

I gave in and went to the doctors on Monday too...I am now on an antibiotic and got some cough medicine with codeine...so my day off tomorrow I am going to relax, take my meds every six hours, drink tea and have soup and hopefully get rid of this thing so that I feel silly as I finish off my 10 day course of antibiotics ;)

Chuck Larlham Jan 30, 2013, 5:01pm UTC

Don't forget th' codeine! Codeine Terpenhydrate is very effective. Makes an excellent substitute for cheap gin. Any military medic can tell you that (as he fills his pocket with five dollar bills for two-ounce bottles of the stuff).

Katryn D. Jan 30, 2013, 5:46pm UTC

LOL - yes, the codeine works quite well ;)

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Larry M. Jan 30, 2013, 8:30am UTC

You made my day. I don't have any of those problems. :-)

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Jim G. Jan 30, 2013, 10:40am UTC

Gettin' old is a bitch, but is sure beats the alternative...

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Pam Brittain Jan 30, 2013, 6:58pm UTC

Good grief. You're a mess. But, you will get over all these obstacles and feel like a kid again.

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Linda B. Feb 10, 2013, 2:43pm UTC

Lemon juice--at least a couple of tablespoons every two hours--followed by at least 16 oz. of water--will help erode those kidney stones into a size that will pass without a lot of pain. (Advice from a nurse friend after another friend wound up in the ER and being sent home with a script for narcotics.)

But of course, check with your doctor first, especially since your kidney stone problem has reached the level of having to see a specialist. I think the above advice was given on the basis of the chemical makeup of a previous stone and that's something that can only be determined by a lab test.

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