Musings of a working mother

I'm a working mother, not by choice. I work because I have to in this economy. If I want to continue the lifestyle I have started for myself and for my family, I must work.

I would much rather stay at home. My mom was a stay at home mom, and I have cousins and friends that are stay at home moms.

The dream is to be a stay-at-home mom.. that is the dream.

It's a dream that may never be my reality, but I wish I could find a way to make it work.

I'm trying to change my habits. I'm saving a lot more money, using coupons. I'm a lot more choosy about when and what I do for some self-pampering, like massages, mani/pedis, haircuts with coloring, waxing appointments.

I'm trying to mentally live off of one income, his income.

I think I'm doing an ok job. But I know its not enough.

We're renting right now, and I would love to eventually own a home. I know that could never happen if I stopped working.

Millions of moms work everyday, why can't I accept the fact that I'm doing a good thing for my family? Why do I have to live with the guilt of not being there for my child all the time?

Comments: 4

Larry M. Jan 23, 2013, 10:45am UTC

Working mothers can be fine mothers who bring up splendid young people. The quality of the time you spend with them is far more important than the quantity of time. If you have high quality day care for the children, they will do fine. It is only in the last 100 or so years that children have been mostly in the company of their mother. In previous times (and outside the industrialized world) children are reared by several adults and older children. Mothers worked on the farm very hard and had little time to spare for their children.

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Veronica Hosking Jan 23, 2013, 10:46am UTC

I'm a stay-at-home mom. It is not that difficult to live off one income. The one income bought our house, car, and other toys. But on the flip side, I don't drive so we only need one car; I don't do manis, pedis or massages; and when it comes to haircuts we go to great clips. Since my daughter's surgery and the amount of time she has been home to recoup, I couldn't imagine how we would swing it if I did work.

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Denise L. Jan 23, 2013, 10:47am UTC

I was fortunately able to (mostly) stay home with my kids. We always lived frugally and we managed to have all the basics and even a few non-necessities and a purchased home as well. I think it's hard whether you work or not, but since children are only young once, I was happy to be there with mine.

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Rachel D. Jan 24, 2013, 1:10pm UTC

This is the most common guilt-trip working moms put themselves through. STOP. 2-income families are a necessity these days, and your children are doing just fine with you working a job. I work full time and I wish I could be home all day with my kids - but the reality is if I want to have a home, I need to work, period. Stop beating yourself up over it and focus on being the best mom you can be when you're with your kids - that's what they'll remember and cherish when they're older.
NOTE: It's easy for me to say this. I was a RARE child without a stay at home mom. In the 70s having a working mom was still rare. My mom told me how guilty she felt, but when I was a kid I was just as happy as I could be, and I cherished the time with my mom. I don't have any bad feelings, or feel like I missed out on something because I had 2 working parents - and you shouldn't feel guilty either!

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Musings of a working mother

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