Old Goodies

shoplifting

A 57-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she went before
the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied: a can of
peaches.
The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was
hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.

The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail.
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's
husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
He said," What is it? "

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

Tough day at School......

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."