I wish to take this opportunity to dispel an unfortunate rumor that is currently circulating throughout most of the civilized world as well as parts of the uncivilized world too. There have been numerous reports that Mr. Bieber (I doubt that he has ever been referred to as "Mr.") and I are one and the same person. Nothing could be further from the truth even though we do have certain things in common which I shall explain. We are both Canadians, having been been born in that great and vast country within the same century. We are both bilingual in English and French. We both sing, however my talent is limited to the confines of my shower. I do not flaunt my talents in public. Because of his unique abilities Mr. Bieber has amassed considerable fame and fortune. My talents, on the other hand, lie in a totally different area, which I shall not go into at this time.
Should you ever have the good fortune to meet Mr. Bieber, and a great many of you have, you will know he is not me. And if you should ever have the good fortune to meet me, and you probably wont, you will know I am not he.