WWE, 12/5/12, Children: Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood

Once Upon a Time there lived a young girl, nicknamed Little Red Riding Hood. Her many, many friends gave her that name because she always wore a red hoodie. She loved her hoodie, she loved her nickname and she loved her friends (and her nickname was in no way an attempt to bully or make fun of her, because that would be wrong). She was a very happy, well-adjusted girl with a loving family.

One day she walked through the woods to her Grandmother’s house. She didn’t walk by herself, but was accompanied by an adult, her father, because everybody knows walking in the woods alone is too dangerous. And of course they took a clearly marked and designated safe path through the forest.

Now, her Grandmother was not feeling well, so Red was bringing her healthy snacks like apples and bananas and granola (free from nuts for the allergy prone) and green tea for her cold. Red was a good, thoughtful granddaughter.

On the way there they met their friend, the Park Ranger, who warned them a stray wolf was on the loose, wandering far from its wildlife home.  Red and her father asked the Park Ranger to accompany them to Grandmother’s house. He agreed, and even gave both of them safety whistles, so they could be responsible and prepared for danger. They all got into his hybrid, environmentally friendly jeep and drove to their destination.

However, unbeknownst to the group, the curious and misunderstood stray wolf followed them to Grandmother’s house. Luckily the wolf was spotted by the Park Ranger after they arrived at Grandmother’s house. The capable and conscientious Ranger retrieved his equipment from his jeep and humanely tranquilised the wolf.  A call was placed to the Ranger Station and the wolf was then subsequently tagged and returned to his natural habitat unharmed.

Grandmother soon recovered from her cold and everyone lived happily ever after.

Challenge: Take an old cartoon, child's story or nursery rhyme and make it politically correct (by today's standards). That, of course, means a complete re-write of the original.