Some people remain unimpressed by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart's ongoing melodrama. And Comedy Central funnyman Stephen Colbert seems to be one of them. The Colbert Report star refuses to buy into their protracted reconciliation process which is suspiciously replete with ultimatums, false starts, and rumored acts of self-sabotage. He thinks their kissing and making up is all part of a Breaking Dawn promotional scam. Ouch.
Yes, difficult as it may be for twihards to accept, Stephen Colbert is apparently one of the dreaded Nonstens. Whether he was always a non-believer or whether Robsten's breakup destroyed his faith in the myth--er--true romance of the real-life Twilight lovers is unknown. It's also irrelevant. What matters is that Colbert recently dissed the reportedly reconciling couple (?) on Twitter, practically calling them a couple of phonies. Ouch.
"Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are back together," he wrote. "Wow, and so close to the release date of their new movie. That's lucky!"
Actually, Monsieur Colbert has a point. The perfect timing of Robsten's reported reconciliation suggests that they might have been motivated by something other than their passion for each other. And it would explain the shocking allegations that KStew had blabbed to a friend that RPattz is, sexually speaking, no great shakes. That alone implies that they were never a real couple. Why would any woman, who is not herself, asexual or frigid, remain for 4 long years with a sexually incompetent man? It could also explain why Rob keeps showing up alone at various social events. Perhaps the Summit suits intend to time Robsten's first "private" appearance together just prior to the Breaking Dawn premiÃ¨re. Smart.
But whatever. Time will tell. And Monsieur Colbert is entitled to his opinion. As are Rob and Kristen's fans. In a Hollywood Life poll, a 66.67 percent majority of respondents thought Colbert's tweet was "Too mean!" and not at all funny. What do you think?
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Â© Hope Carson 2012
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.