Weeds opens with Nancy (Mary-Louise Parker) looking different and yet the same as she did at the end of the previous episode when Andy (Justin Kirk) finally (finally!) walked away from her. The one stark difference is that she has stark blondish swathes streaked throughout her hair. She is standing at a podium arguing with a man about whether kids should have to wear protective head gear while playing soccer. She's fighting a losing battle.
As she argues that the only kid to get a concussion the previous year was the guy she was debating, and that not from a soccer ball but from running into the goal, two dads gossip about "the widow."
Nancy married the rabbi! But he died. Seriously? That's now four men she's married and buried. Back to the rabbi (David Julian Hirsch), apparently they made up at some point, because they got married, and he adopted Stevie. He died when he drove off the road, swerving to avoid a bear. Seriously.
The pro-head gear guy calls for a vote, and the ban is passed by an overwhelming majority. Stevie (Mateus Ward) comes running in and demands to be sent to a boarding school so that he doesn't look stupid in spring soccer. It's nice to see that being left with Doug (Kevin Nealon) so much didn't permanently damage the kid.
Stevie is being bar mitzvah'd, so seven to eight years have passed since Conrad was sure that the creek always rises. Stevie is really looking forward to everyone coming for the Jewish Party. Evidently the Blooms are in the minority religion.
Meanwhile, Silas (Hunter Parrish) and Megan (Shoshannah Stern) are shopping for incidentals after flying in from California. They have an adorable baby girl, Flora. Megan does not like Nancy because of what she put Silas through. He asks her to get along anyway. She asks him about the deal, but Silas tells her they're there for Stevie so he isn't going to bring it up. At the register, he buys a pack of weed cigarettes.
At her pot shop, "The Good Seed," Nancy meets with Timmy (Daryl Sabara), who is in a better place than the last time he was on screen. Maybe. He's no longer in a homicidal rage. Which is good. He's working for Nancy as her personal assistant. Which is... not bad? He has problems with boundaries (no kidding); otherwise, he would spend 24/7 with Nancy. The whole scene is simultaneously jarring and heart warming, which sort of sums up the series, doesn't it?
As Nancy moves behind the counter, Crick (Patch Darragh) pops up. Turns out that because Nancy and Silas used the money Crick gave them as seed money, they're in business together regardless of how much she wanted to keep him away from Silas. She really doesn't like him. Perhaps that's why when he tells her that Starbucks wants to buy them out of all fifty stores for enough money that she will never have to worry about money again, she doesn't jump for joy. Crick tells her that Silas, Doug, and Conrad all want out too, but since she holds 51% of the company...
Shane (Alexander Gould) pulls up to the house with his girlfriend Tiffani (Natasha Lyonne) and Ouellette (Michael Harney) and his girlfriend. They all seem to be somewhat drunk. Shane has a porn 'stache. It's about as attractive as you might imagine. Which is to say, not at all. Shane is a bit of a mess.
When they get in the house, all Shane's "friends" are unbelievably rude to Megan about her deafness, with Tiffani complimenting Silas for being good enough to marry her anyway, leaving Megan and Silas in amused disbelief. Silas is not so amused to see Shane drinking so early in the day. Shane comments that Flora looks like Silas' dad and asks if the two have met. Silas doesn't want to talk about family secrets. Shane claims to have none. Silas asks the room if they knew Shane once killed a woman. Turns out Shane isn't quite so unburdened by the past as all that.
When Stevie and Nancy get home, they find a full house, although no Andy as yet. After Nancy unsuccessfully tries to get some cuddle time with Flora when Megan nurse blocks her, she goes inside and catches up with a bunch of familiar faces. Conrad isn't there because his wife is having twins any day now, but Sanjay (Maulik Pancholy) is there, as is Marvin (Fatso-Fasano) and Dean (Andy Milder).
Doug is also around. His cult/religion has really taken off, and he walks around in purple with three attendants, one of whom is Monica (Allyn Rachel), and yep, he has sex with all three of them. What he doesn't have is a relationship with Josh (Justin Chatwin), so of course he has Whit (Bruce Nozick) kidnap him. As you do (not). Josh has no interest in a relationship with Doug.
Oh, and Guillermo (Guillermo Diaz) is there, and he sits down to have an illuminating chat with Stevie. Nancy told Stevie that Esteban was a politician who stood up to the drug cartels and died in prison after being framed. Guillermo fills him on the truth.
So where's Andy? He's a no-show at the dinner. Silas tells Nancy that Andy has one of those farm to table restaurants in Ren Mar. His dad Lenny died, but Andy has a three-year-old daughter, Leni. He's really happy. Nancy is crushed to realize that he's not coming.
So she's super happy to come downstairs the next morning to find guess who making breakfast. Everything's super weird, though, and she winds up leaving the house to get goat's milk for Flora.
Thus ends the first part of the end.
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"Little Boxes" performed by Malvina Reynolds