What You Say or Do.

Your positive attitude amazes me. Although I am not Christian, I find it very hard not to judge certain people, regardless of religion. Yet you are so kind and accepting. I'd love to learn how you do it! I'm sure your religion and upbringing has a lot to do with it, yet your sister turned out so different, and even with all she's done you can still forgive and accept her.
Let me bring up a particular example which I know I've shared on Mylot once. With my job I see all kinds of people, especially around the 1st and 3rd when the SSI checks come out. A lot of non-account holders come in to cash their checks and I am supposed to ask them if they want to open an account. Some say no because they're on chexsystems which I can understand because I am on it also. However, a lot of them say no because they're avoiding child support and child support could freeze their bank account. Now this furiates me. For one thing they actually seem PROUD of the fact that they've avoided child support. One guy even laughed and said he didn't have much longer due to how old his kids were. But also simply because they are avoiding their responsibilities and that doesn't seem right! They got themselves into this situation, they should man up and pay their child support!!
So tell me.. how is a person supposed to not judge people like this? I'd really love to know because I'm sick of negative feelings and would love to be more positive and not get irritated at my customers at work.

I don't think being angry at in injustice is judging someone. It sounds more like righteous indignation. I get down on things like that. When I see someone working the system when I struggle. And I often let the negative take over in my mind and I get down. But then I see someone do something selfless and I remember that there are a heck of a lot of good people in the world. And also the Bible verse about being warned that your sins will find you out. I believe people will get caught. And if they don't, I still think they'll end up paying in a way they'll regret.

In regards to that, Amanda - the ones avoiding the child support payments? Don't tell them but I am fairly sure there is no statute of limitations. They might think they are in the clear once a child turns 18, but all that back support can be collected and given to the child who never received it. So the joke is on them in the long run - those who come out of "hiding" once the kid turns 18.

You're right, Jeanne. I know someone who got out of paying child support for 21 years. Only for him to get on disability and then he HAD to pay it. Once he was off disability they continued to make him pay it to the mother of his child.

Well that's great they still have to pay in the end. Unfortunately they still complain about it and act like they're being robbed! It's just crazy and drives me nuts!

I think by virtue of the fact that many Christians speak freely and openly about following the Bible and Jesus and how one is supposed to act that they are held to that standard by non-Christians - who will, in fact, be the first to notice those who don't walk the walk. Perhaps if some kept their judgmental ways to themselves, they, too, wouldn't be so harshly judged when failing to be as perfect as Jesus.
Have you ever read the book In His Steps - by Charles Sheldon? A bit dated, but relevant nonetheless. A pastor challenged his congregation to - for a year - live as Jesus did. In other words, before saying something - ask yourself - What would Jesus say? What would Jesus do? Many found they just couldn't do it. Those who rose to the challenge found their lives changed dramatically.

I love that book. I still remember when my mom bought it for me.

Excellent. More of us should pay attention to this.

I don't have to judge people. But I do learn about them. I long ago ceased paying attention to whether people said they were Christian or not. That seemed to have nothing to do with their behavior. Christians are just people with the same virtues and failings as the rest of us.

Exactly. We're all going to mess up. But people expect Christians to do better. Very often we do not! Sometimes someone gets on to someone else for judging, ignoring the fact that they are judging the very ones they admonish!

What I don't understand is how someone could be proud of being Christian or Muslim or whatever. What is there to be proud of in believing something?

Proud? I don't think I've thought of being Christian and being proud. I don't see how having religion makes you proud either. I guess whoever does feel that way would have to explain it because I have no idea.

Amber,

I think we see this pride when one religious group denigrates some other religious group. It's a form of ethnocentrism, of course, but it's a particularly painful form because it justifies all sorts of harmful actions toward those others (whomever they happen to be). It's the idea of "I have it right and you have it wrong, shame on you." that indicates the pride. People tend to be proud that they are on the side of God so any opposition must be opposed to God.

Sounds like the infamous Westboro Baptist Church. (have no idea if I spelled that right)

I have seen attacks on Muslims and Mormons in the last year on Gather.

Doesn't surprise me. I try to stay out of those and let them all barb each other. Don't want to mess with the drama.

When I'm feeling good I like to leave a message of tolerance. When I'm depressed by the human condition I just skip them.

I so agree, I had a boss who always talked about God and such, and she was mean and unreasonable.

I agree you do not bomb an abortion center not everyone is there for abortions, or birth control some are there for womens health issues.

I have seen this a lot. Hypocracy. I prefer dealing with a non-christian who treats others nicely and with respect. I know a lot of christians who also treat others nicely, though some that use that cloak. I won't mention any here.

Jesus taught to love one another and sadly there are more than a few Christians who have forgotten this. Ghandi is quoted even as saying "I love your Christ, but not your Christians". Jesus met with people that were avoided-the ones who needed others most. I am strongly aganist abotion, but what could would bombing a center do (using your example). Instead, shouldn't we be meeting with the individual thinking about an aborition and getting to know them and their story before judging? It doesn't make their action any less terrible, but we've met them in their pain.

Right. I know three women who have had abortions. All three regretted it. They became Christians afterward. But one of them it took awhile because once one church she attended found out she had had an abortion they didn't want to "mess" with her.

That's a corrupt church right off the bat. My pastor regularly meets with individuals who have had abortions and helps them work through their pain. She's an unjudgemental as they come.

I think sometimes, and I'm not making excuses for anyone, that we forget the women who have abortions sometimes end up being victims too. But they carry the pain the rest of their lives.

I don't identify with any religion. I don't say, "I'm a Christian," or "I'm a Buddhist," or "I'm a Muslim," or "I'm a Jew". I learn from all of these, but I pay most attention to the direct experience I've had of the divine. I believe most people have had some kind of direct spiritual experience at some time during their lives. If religions helped people see that, instead of trying to get people to accept some system of dogmas and creeds, then I'd pay more attention to them. I will conclude with saying that as I have paid more attention to the spiritual experiences I have had, they have led me to be more loving - and less prone to hypocrisy - my own, or that of others.

I believe people will be people. Kind or evil, they make the decisions not us. I agree with you about telling someone you are one thing and doing the opposite.

The world needs more tolerance and compassion as you have expressed in your post.

Well I beleive in Jesus and I believe in the bible and I'm not prfect but I try to teach the kids to live buy it too. I grew up with christain grandparents and my grandma use to say all the time If you don't have nothing nice to say don't say nothing at all. and anthor one I say to the kids is do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I love reading about when you take your kids to church and Bible School. I hate to see so many places not to Bible School any more.