Televison Interviewer: "Congratulations on winning the lottery."
Iowa Farmer: "Thanks."
Interviewer: "Do you have any special plans for spending all of that money?"
Farmer: "Nope. Not really. I'm just gonna keep on farming until the lottery money's all gone."
anyways . . .
Are you ready for your daily chuckles ? ? ?
Here are a some jokes for you today....
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911.
Blonde: "We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb."
Operator: "Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?"
Operator: "The power in the house in on?"
Blonde: "Of course."
Operator: "And the switch is on?"
Blonde: "Yes, yes."
Operator: "And the bulb still won't light up?"
Blonde: "No, it's working fine."
Operator: "Then what's the problem?"
Blonde: "We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves!"
Three men died and stood in front of God. God asked the first man if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven.
The second man admitted to only one affair and was given a mid-sized car.
The third man was asked the same question and said that he had been faithful to his wife until the day he died. God praised him and gave him a big luxury car.
A week later the three guys met in a parking lot in heaven. The man driving the luxury car began to cry.
"What's the matter?" the other two men asked.
He replied, "I just passed my wife, and she was riding a bike!"
Q: What is the definition of a "Lucky Break?"
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "Crying Shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
(you can change lawyers to politicians if you'd like)
A French man, an English man, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The French man offered everyone some French bread, then he threw it out the window. The French man said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."
The English man offered everyone a crumpet and then he threw it out the window. The English man said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."
The American man quickly threw the lawyer out the window. The American said, "Don't worry we have plenty of those where I come from."
bonus time again . . .
Some geological engineers from the U.S.G.S. recently surveyed some property in New England and found that in a certain area, the New Hampshire and Maine border must be changed. They stopped to inform a farmer that he was no longer in Maine, but now in New Hampshire.
After a long pause, he grunted and said, "That's good. I couldn't take another one of these Maine winters."
Randee NoOne . . .
The Court Jester
of LaLaLand . . .