by Jennifer T.
Member since:
July 13, 2010

Great Day, Right Up Until Now

August 11, 2012 09:36 PM UTC
views: 0 | 6 people recommend this | comments: 31

I had a really great time at the family reunion today.  I have awesome things that I want to write about but I don't know if I will ever get to it because I have lost my train of thought and will probably forget everything by tomorrow morning.   So, I just need to ask one thing..... How do you deal with the negative, energy sucking people in your life that you don't really want out of your life?  Is there ever any hope for change?

Comments: 31

May Xue Aug 11, 2012, 9:42pm UTC
It's not family unless there's something odd going on. I still love my family regardless of all a horrible childhood. I try to forgive and accept the fact that some of them may never change.
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:21pm UTC
LOL.. yes, family can be odd!
William M. Aug 11, 2012, 9:43pm UTC
Ignore them as much as possible. Don't be overly friendly.
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:22pm UTC
Thanks William, I'll try that.
Heather E. Aug 11, 2012, 9:47pm UTC
It is not possible to change them, only your response to them. Give them your time and presence when you can. When it gets to be too much, back off for a while. Take a deep breath and try to remember the good that exists even in the faulty relationship.
Tim T. Aug 11, 2012, 10:35pm UTC
Totally agree!
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:22pm UTC
Thanks Heather! That sounds like some very good advice!!
Linda B. Aug 11, 2012, 9:49pm UTC
Yes--but they will not change because you want them to, or in ways that you think they should. Work on changing yourself, in not letting their negativity drag you down, and practicing responses that are neutral and let you change the subject. When you change yourself, others will change in reponse to that, but again--not necessarily in ways that you want them to.

Practice "Let go and let God" and recognize the boundaries of what is legitimately under your control and what is not. When you relax into 'that's not mine' at some point it becomes "Oh Thank GOD that's not mine to have to deal with" and your heart begins to lighten up.

I say "you" but the above has been my experience....really gave me my strength and hope back when I only had my issues to deal with.
Linda B. Aug 11, 2012, 9:50pm UTC
What Heather said...even better.
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:24pm UTC
Thanks Linda! I will try to block out that negativity and "let it go!"
Sophie S. Aug 11, 2012, 10:24pm UTC
Avoid them
My family has used that technique for years.
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:25pm UTC
LOL! Does it work?
Tessa D. Aug 11, 2012, 10:32pm UTC
I just walk away from them
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:25pm UTC
Sometimes that works but it's getting tiring.
Sassy *bacon makes me happy* Cat Aug 11, 2012, 10:32pm UTC
I dunno!
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:25pm UTC
It's okay, I dunno either, that's why I asked! LOL!!!
M L M. Aug 11, 2012, 11:09pm UTC
Hard as it is to do, remember that you are in charge of how you feel and it is up to you to either ignore or participate. Family can be worse than an enemy, at least you know your enemy does not like you, but family?
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:29pm UTC
Very true!
Rayda Renshaw Aug 11, 2012, 11:14pm UTC
I must admit that I avoid contact with family much of the time because of this. My older sisters treat me like a kid (and I am 55) and my younger sister I have discussed in another post here. I just keep them at arms' length and try not to get sucked into caring too much how they treat me. Then I go and live my own life happily without them. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't but I always have my own life to go back to and heal from my entanglements with them.
Sometimes that is the best we can do...go back to our caves and lick our wounds.
Jennifer T. Aug 11, 2012, 11:30pm UTC
It's sure draining sometimes!
Rayda Renshaw Aug 11, 2012, 11:31pm UTC
To be sure.
Janet "Jax" B. Aug 12, 2012, 1:11am UTC
I ignore them....(or hang up on them).
Pam Brittain Aug 12, 2012, 2:12pm UTC
Probably no hope. I try to stay away from them and if they're negative, I tell them that they're welcome at my place, but only if they are in a positive mood. Otherwise, I tell them to go home.
Heidi S. Aug 12, 2012, 8:00pm UTC
I try to the positive people closer in my life, avoiding the negative people. They can suck the life out of you.
Karen E. Aug 13, 2012, 4:24am UTC
I stay away from negative people!
Elaine S. Aug 13, 2012, 6:13am UTC
I stay away from people that upset me.You can not change anyone.
michele r. Aug 15, 2012, 1:53am UTC
I love my middle sister but she is this way often. I listen to her as much as I can and I am as sympathetic as I can be with her. When it gets to be too much I just go quiet on here. We normally just text so its not like I have to carry on a phone conversation or anything. Good luck with your family member.
Pamela Marks Aug 29, 2012, 6:36pm UTC
we had one of those and they kind of erased out of our lives all on their own

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Business | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Giveaways | Health | Money | Moms | News | Politics | Sports | Style | Technology | Travel | Writing
Version 18247, "Zach"; Copyright © 2013 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.