Here are some amusing quotes for this week said by Woody Allen:
When I was in school, I cheated on my metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.