My novella of ‘Positively Twisted Short Stories,’ had sold only 5 copies on the Internet to the same person; namely me. My brain I guess had become too strange for people to enjoy my tales. I had decided to accept this, be put on a bad writer’s prayer list and go back to learning drunken sailor tunes on my guitar.
Yes, you could say my world looked bleak as never polished silverware. However, one night my wife was out with her girlfriends and I alone put on an apron and struggled with some resisting cleaners to get our house looking respectable, in case an FBI raid makes an honest address mistake and then thinks I’m Jerry Garcia and thus a Vampire.
After I smiled, they measured my teeth and noticed I was not missing a finger tip, so they let me go is how I would fantasize maybe Connie Hines; but enough of Mr. Ed, for I am straying quite purposefully from the storyline ahead: For what has been happening I have no explanation. My book touted by someone influential and this person praised my work in print, private moments, in visual media and in social conversations.
Suddenly my novella became a best seller and this has continued until this very day. I'm very rich according to my trusty Wall Street banker: Much more sleazy than Mr. Drysdale my bounced check tells me. I have many detractors, especially those who have successfully walked over hot coals. They seem rather genuinely upset my book #1 on the ’Self Help’ book list. They claim my book full of negative stories of gruesome literary wordiness.
Starting tomorrow I’m going to make a list of people I should refrain commenting about when I go on the Jay Leno Show. I’m the first guest. Advance publicity says I will clear up the mystery of why I am the #1 positive writer. My publicist wrote and distributed this, but frankly, I think I’ll take the Fifth to any difficult questions Jay might ask.