Thursday Writing Essential prompt:
EXPECTATIONS~ANTICIPATION
Many years ago when I was helping with our church educational program, our new pastor initiated a new marriage workshop for prospective couples and it became a favorite very quickly and is still used today in the marriage preparation.
Pastor Kurz, created a program that used a blank deck of cards which was presented to each newly engaged couple.
The game was called ANTICIPATIONS AND EXPECTATIONS and the point of the game was to show how different our expectations may be from our prospective mate.
The anticpation part was to point up how joyful the engagement period may be and how each partner as well as the extended family members may lend to the situation.
The reality as to expectations came out very clearly during the sessions and in result provided a much clearer understanding between the couples.
Each partner was to provide his own answer to questions based on categories that had to do with finances, child raising as well as others, and print the answer on each blank card. One partner does not see the others replies until the game begins and each person discloses his/her cards.
It was very surprising to the couples to realize how closely their expectations matched or how different they were. As the game was played the cards were placed in groups as to the matches.
The pastor did not dwell on anything negative or even positive about the expectations, only that it provided a clearer understanding of what each partner wished from their marriage and provide a picture of what they thought they would be contributing to the life they would be sharing together.
As a result of the game the couples realized how much they had to discuss in private as well as bring to the workshop and a greater understanding was accomplished.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As human beings, we have different expectations at different stages of our lives but the anticpation, I think, is what always keeps us young at heart and open to what is new and exciting.
The other day I was watching a situation comedy in which three teen grandchildren were making decisions for their grandfather as to his future.
They believed it was time for him to begin living since he had been a widower for quite a while and, in their estimation, had no life.
The difference in expectation was pointed up during the time the girls were on a senior couples dating site and were reading together the desires of some of the elders.
"Here's one for a lady who wants a gentleman for.....,Wheeeeeeew! Do they still do that?" cried the girls. Then they went on to a more docile advertisement that had to do with the woman still cooking in addition to excercising three days a week. The girls chose her because she was still cute and went on to get their grandfather a date.
I enjoy going over my life expectations for I still have many and a half-full or half empty (however one sees it) bucket list. I do, however, still believe that ANTICIPATION is and always will be 98% of the game......
08.02.2012
Barbara H.
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Comments: 29
In the Olympics there are athletes that one is always glad to see compete like Michael Phelps because you know you see a incredible athlete perform. At gather there are posts by special talented writers and poets that just by seeing their names you know that you are in for a treat. You are one of those poets and writers.
Thank, you, thank you.
I hold a very different view of existence than you do (mine might be characterized as depressive realism). Anticipation does not play a large role in my life-- I'm more of a live-in-the-moment person.
However, I think this is a wise and uplifting essay. Thanks for sharing with Gather's Luminous Writers and Artists. Featured.
I have always been impressed with your take on most everything in life. You are not aloof but, instead, seem to stand back and view, and then provide a calm appraisal of the situation. I envy your sense of calm or at least that is what I see in you.
On the other hand, my peace and balance has been gradually attained over my 71 years and that is from childhood on.
I was evidently born with the cup I saw as half full and even though I am sometimes teased and told I live wearing rose colored glasses, I am at peace now with the truth that I DO see boths sides and am no Pollyanna.
My life has a background of alcoholism, sexual abuse at a very early age (my own at the hands of a trusted man outside our family) depression seen on my mom's side of the family AND so this is what I have lived with, in and around, two long, happy, sad, very active marriages, births of four wonderful children and now a second widowhood.
In spite of all this I have a peace and my center is as balanced as I think is possible.
It took me many years to accept that I am a worthy human being (I understand your depressive realism) BUT I find that the anticipation of and for all aspects in life NOW works for me in that it keeps me uplifted. Mostly thinking of how someone else is rejoicing about something I had part in.
At this stage of the game, I look for fun.
But I've never been comfortable with it:
If we live in denial, it ultimately catches up with us....sooner or later.
In Poland, in days of old, a couple was presented with a tangled ball of yarn. It they worked together to untangle it, their marriage would survive.
I love to untangle yarn. Hubs, not so much.
I enjoyed reading this post, thank you.
Thank you for submitting to: Not Gathering Dust!
Good, thoughtful material here for everyone to ponder on ...