Feeling Jealous

I've never had a problem with jealousy. When we were 16 my cousin moved into the master bedroom of a brand new brick home and had her own phone line, I wasn't jealous. I was sharing a room of a tiny two bedroom, one bath frame home with a party line so it seems like I would have felt some twinges.  When she got her first car a little later, I was glad for her.

In dating, I always felt that if a guy would rather be with someone else, let him. I never felt any twinges of jealousy for my ex and 3rd wife. When they both bought new cars, I was happy for them.

I've lived in Texas without air conditioning for 18 years now and never felt jealous for people who were living cool in the summer.  My feeling hot isn't the fault of anyone else.

But when I watch these TV shows and movies where the person types in something and immediately gets the answer to complicated questions, I'm truly jealous. They have answers in less time than it would take me to find a browser that wants to respond at that moment. When I do pick, I sometimes get messages that my Chrome, Firefox or IE isn't the right browser for the site destination. They never seem to have time to blink. I get non-responsive browsers, Shockwave, etc. The TV screens never freeze, get error messages or have to be rebooted. In my dreams it might work like that, but certainly not in reality.

Now I know these people have state of the art computers run by true experts while I'm a self-taught semi-literate computer user of an antique laptop. (It's at least 5 years old.) Logic tells me I shouldn't be surprised. But it makes it hard to wait out my computer when the TV screen is showing off.

Maybe someday it will be different for me.