A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He walks up to the bar and takes a seat, the giraffe does the same. The man orders a beer for himself and a double scotch for the giraffe. They both proceed to drink and after a while they order the same again.
They continue all night, ordering the same drinks, drinking them and ordering another load untill suddenly the giraffe falls off his stool and lies unconscious on the floor. The man gets up of his stool and heads for the door.
The barman shouts at him as he heads out the door 'You can't leave that lyin' 'ere!'
The man replies, 'Its not a lion its a giraffe!
DRIVING WITH PENGUINS
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off.
The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo."
The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."
BOY, COP, AND SQUIRREL
A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you"
"In that case," said the boy, "I'll kiss it on the forehead and let it go"
A MAN AND A DOG
There is an old story about the data center of the future.
This data center runs 24/7 with only a man and a dog.
The man's job is to feed the dog.
The dog's job is to make sure the man does not touch the computer.