It's not what you know for sure that'll f### you up. It's what you know for sure that you're dead wrong about that'll f### you up every time.
Paraphrasing Ben Franklin late in life
A little story. When I was in my early twenties, I was listening to NPR, an interview. The interviewer asked a question, the interviewee said: "I have to be perfected candid with you," then went on in painful detail. I said "What a moron."
Stay with me here.
Two days later, a friend asked me a question I didn't wish to answer, so I said: "I think I'll be candid here." She leaned toward me, expecting more. I asked: "What?"
"You said you'd be candid. So be candid."
"I am!"
A heated argument ensued until finally I got the dictionary out to prove I was right, that candid meant 'hidden or withheld.'
I was dead, dead wrong. Yet, I was sure, dead sure, I was right. I even sought out a second dictionary, thinking somehow the dictionary was wrong.
Everything, that is everything I thought came into question. I was afraid to make a statement about anything. I got to using qualifiers for every statement I made.
"It appears to be..."
"Allow me to suggest..."
"At this moment, I believe..."
A few weeks later, I was watching out the window, snow dancing in the evening dark. A TV show from my childhood paraded in my mind. I recalled the opening credit, shot of a movie camera hidden in the bushes, the theme playing.."You're on candid camera..." ...the camera was hidden.
"f### me," I said to the snow and the wind pushing against the house.
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Comments: 25
I know what you mean about being super careful about what you say. I used to qualify most everything I said so that I at least would have a technical way out should I happen to be convincingly contradicted. But that can be both good and bad. Good, because it teaches one to reach closer to the truth by simply forcing one to be more accurate. Bad, because it tends to require more time in order to choose one's words so carefully, and because it tends to stifle spontaneity in social situations.
Yeah, the camera is candid because it reveals everything.
To this day, I still question everything I think I know for sure.
Man I miss writing.
Facebook, however, I get long-winded