Len Maxwell's Saucy Steak Tip : WWE 4/25/12 - Len Maxwell

Len Maxwell had become famous as a waiter at a prestigious steak restaurant, but getting to the why in present tense is as impossible as fiction. Let’s go back and let the story unfold up until the point of  Len getting helicopter transport from friend and Euchre partner Richard M Nixon.

Like Henry K, Len served steak everyday and many foreign ladies left him nice tips. The lady he liked best had no money, so she left him her make-up kit. Len thought this a clownish act, yet for two minutes he had felt heartbroken.

Head Chef Marianne bartered Len’s tip for a 10% pay raise with added responsibility of making steak sauces. Soon many were coming from far and wide and wall hangings suggest Extra-Terrestrials visited too. Len’s saucy steak sauce left many a necktie ruined.    

A French delegation of turned up noses sat at a table where Len was the waiter. Then in unison said, ‘American steak is like dog chews with potatoes and gravy. Do you have any frog legs?’ Len seemed to utter ’Sacrebleu,’ but he resisted being rude because he knew he could win the ladies over with a story about Betsy the cow and what she chewed.

In a nice condensed version he told of Betsy’s life from the farm to dinner plate with added  sauce and garnish. There were teary eyes and loud applause and then, totally unplanned, patrons from around the room rose up and urged Len to stand on a table that wobbled.

Only the table caused Len to feel danger as the Patrons surrounded him. .A bearded man with wild eyes starting approaching Len, but a man grabbed him. This wild man calmed down when told Len not talking about Aunt Betsy. He then squinted and said, ‘I reckon he don’t look like those fellows in National Geographic.’

A nice lady who had once been a Vegan asked, ‘what cuts of Betsy are available for us to take and cook at home?’ To make a long story short, every patron bought pieces of Betsy frozen and Head Cook Marianne turned off the ovens. Len got more tips than he had ever dreamed of and a few phone numbers.

This restaurant bought beef from different cows (who no longer give milk), but none ever seemed to be as tasty as Betsy. Should be the end of the story, but there was a mild conspiracy at the 1957 State Fair. There seemed to be too many entrants for the steak contest from one city.

Since no wrong doing could be found, the steak dishes by all entrants were tasted by the judges. They could tell no difference in the taste of each steak and called them all Blue Ribbon winner delicious. Everyone, including Len realized it wasn’t his steak sauce, but Betsy who made taste buds grin. Betsy beef was tastier than chicken because Betsy never laid an egg.