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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In the first term in office, President Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the previous eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.
New polls indicate that millions of Americans are put off by the President’s unorthodox verbal tic, which has Mr. Obama employing grammatically correct sentences virtually every time he opens his mouth.
Mr. Obama’s decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements, as well as his insistence on the correct pronunciation of the word “nuclear,†has harmed his reelection hopes among millions of voters who find his unusual speaking style unfamiliar and bizarre.
According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, after eight years of George W. Bush many Americans find it “alienating†to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language.
“Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement,†says Mr. Logsdon. “If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist.â€
The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, on Election Day the public may find itself saying, “Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate – we get it, stop showing off.â€
Elsewhere, consumers who believed that Nutella was nutritious have won a $3.05 million lawsuit, the highest award ever paid to morons. Get a free subscription to the Borowitz Report here.
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Comments: 21
But seriously, folks... No, I mean it... but seriously... I have read here on Gather that it's a shame he can't come down to the level of the rest of us and use a little slang once in a while, or the occasional colloquialism. One lackwit even said he should drop his "g's" to sound more like he's "one of us."
And I think I know where that "looking down his nose" pose came from, too. I suspect that whoever shot that was standing at floor level below the stage and shot upward. Either that, or he's showing the early symptoms of Myasthenia gravis.
The 1952 edition of the Oxford dictionary listed the term "uppity (N-word)" with this definition: "Above oneself, self-important, 'jumped up,' haughty, pert, putting on airs" The word "uppity," made its first appearance in the 1880s in the "Uncle Remus" stories, a series of black songs and folk tales written in slave dialect. By the 1950s, the word had adopted a virulent racial element. The word "uppity," was routinely applied throughout the Jim Crow South to blacks who dared to climb the socioeconomic ladder.
Well, actually, no.
Romney cannot be 'uppity' in the way that most racists view Obama as 'uppity.'
Romney lacks the skin color required for that term to apply.
Sad to say...this is still a very racist nation.
There are a lot of people in this country who are still very, very upset that we have a black President.
The fact that he is also a liberal Democrat only adds to their outrage.
But the basic problem is...he's BLACK!
We have many common problems. Wishing you well.....