A Bird's Eye View of Time (A Tanka)

A bird hovering
above the lake surface waves
like a stringless kite

Who to believe - the wave, the wind,
or the fixed bird hanging there?

Whetstone: Just a bird I saw and wondered.

Comments: 14

Len Maxwell Apr 22, 2012, 11:40pm UTC

Who to believe, indeed. Wonderfully written and quite a visual image.

Thanks for sharing with Gather’s Luminous Writers & Artists.

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JOHN BECK Apr 22, 2012, 11:40pm UTC

Perhaps a kingfisher or one of the flycatcher family, although a seagull or raptor can seem to hang motionless gliding upwind.
I like your tanka, Atticus.

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Irina Dimitric Apr 23, 2012, 2:53am UTC

Nice... Now I have to google "tanka".

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 23, 2012, 3:05am UTC

Irina, you could always try going to Mindful Poetry's home page and entering tanka into the search box. :-)

Irina Dimitric Apr 23, 2012, 3:18am UTC

Oh, thanks, Susan. I'll do that.

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Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 23, 2012, 3:08am UTC

Atticus, I believe you've successfully written a tanka here.

Your own words, which I have saved in my "Poetry learning" folder in a word.doc:

The essence of the poem should blossom in the mind of the reader, not on the page.

Put another notch on the door frame, sir.

Kerry Dexter Apr 23, 2012, 10:56am UTC

always should be room for mystery, indeed. which there is here, both on the page and off it. well done, Atticus.

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Bernard C. Apr 23, 2012, 5:26am UTC

I believe in the fish - swim, swim away or else you're toast - LOL. A good perspective though is only a matter of time and birds have plenty of that :-)

Thanks for sharing and submitting to
The Surreal Circus.

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