by Atticus *.
Member since:
September 16, 2006

Only Sky Between Us (A Ghazal for Mindful Poetry)

April 13, 2012 08:52 PM UTC
views: 0 | 23 people recommend this | comments: 42

 

 








It is not the wind that moves this sea between us, 
only she that loves these waves between us.

A man can walk for many miles along a salty beach,
yet never swim this rolling sea between us.

There is no bird to carry him unto a farther shore,
or fish to speak across the deep between us.

There is no earth, no vacant sky that is an angry sea,
not one that churns as does this sea between us.

If moon can climb the wind as man can roam the shore,
Atticus will ride this moon across the sea between us.



 

 

 

 

 

Whetstone: It is no coicidence that the moon rules both emotions and waves.

 



Comments: 42

JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Apr 13, 2012, 9:02pm UTC
Sometimes the wall of separation is unable to be conquered. Luna is a powerful force, indeed.
Atticus *. Apr 16, 2012, 8:40am UTC
She is indeed. Did I mention I was a moon child? :-)
JustMe ~I'm happy to be~ Apr 16, 2012, 4:26pm UTC
Not surprised, Atticus. :)
Stirling D. Apr 13, 2012, 9:03pm UTC
Ahhh, fantastic.
Atticus *. Apr 16, 2012, 8:41am UTC
Thank you Stirling. I love this one, I'm glad you like it too.
JOHN BECK Apr 13, 2012, 9:10pm UTC
Fabulous use of metaphor, and each couplet stands on its own. I like it. Well done.
Len Maxwell Apr 13, 2012, 9:20pm UTC
As I read through it, I kept thinking that it was really cool. That's probably an understatement of your work, but I still think it's really cool.

Thanks for posting to the Oceanic Wall on The Triple Name Club where it's now featured.
Kevin E. Apr 13, 2012, 9:26pm UTC
What a great powerful poem. I could visualize the sea shore every step of the way.
Virginia M. Apr 13, 2012, 9:37pm UTC
Very strong writing.. Now how can I acheive such heights as you did with this fine Ghazal poem? Well done!
Robert - just a simple man - B. Apr 13, 2012, 9:40pm UTC
This is actually quite stunning. Ride that moon Atticus, Ride.
Veronica Hosking Apr 13, 2012, 9:46pm UTC
Very poignant verse.
Andrea Grenadier Apr 13, 2012, 10:09pm UTC
Atticus, the beauty of this poem, as I'm sure you felt when you wrote it, is the great motion that has been set into play with your words. You can almost feel the roiling of both heart and sea; the magnitude of the swells is magnificent. All the words that mean movement: churn, waves, wind, are declaratively powerful. Beautiful.
Kingston Kaprinski Apr 13, 2012, 10:17pm UTC
The churning sea that throws our sense of equilibrium off, too. Charging us with a new direction, like running and jumping.
Kingston Kaprinski Apr 13, 2012, 10:15pm UTC
A poem of the distances. The distance between self & other, between dream & reality. Very haunting. Full of desire & longing.
stephen berwaldt Apr 13, 2012, 11:46pm UTC
I love the poem...one senses the difficulty bridging the space between you...Important to keep trying...your words roll off the tongue so smoothly...
A beautiful offering to he prompt goddess...

Thank you submitting to Gathers Luminous Writers and Artists. Now Featured.
Mustafa Demiri Apr 14, 2012, 12:44am UTC
According to what I've read of the ghazal,
this is a perfect example of what the form was meant to be,
with your profound expression of love,
and how there is no sea it could not bridge ,
from the Pacific, to the Atlantic, or to the Sea of Tranquility.

A beautiful ghazal, my friend!
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 14, 2012, 5:03pm UTC
Indeed and even the reference to self in the final stanza. I am chuffed.
Irina Dimitric Apr 14, 2012, 2:26am UTC
Atticus, my heart is fluttering with emotions inspired by your beautiful ghazal. Now I'll share it on Facebook, so I can read it tomorrow again.
elizabeth evans Apr 14, 2012, 4:35am UTC
You nailed it again.
Bernard C. Apr 14, 2012, 6:59am UTC
Great visionary and point of view - nice!

Thanks for sharing and submitting to
The Surreal Circus.
Virginia M. Apr 14, 2012, 7:56am UTC
On second reading, I've found this just as compelling as at the first reading. In this fine poem, I feel there's not just a a physical separation between the two. There's also an emotional divide in a relationship. "A man can walk for many miles along a salty beach..." gives me a sense of alones. Also, couldn't "salty beach" not only be a reference to the surf but mean that there's crying going on? Nevertheless, this Atticus is bound and determined to overcome the distance. Such is the strength of love!
Virginia M. Apr 14, 2012, 8:02am UTC
I am feeble in expressing the 'meaning' found in poetry, but I love when a poem strikes accord with me.
Kerry Dexter Apr 14, 2012, 8:27am UTC
a thoughtful, meditative poem. well done and lasting, Atticus.

one of my favorite songs is a bit of a different take on a similar circumstance, you may like it: The Farthest Wave
A. F. Stewart Apr 14, 2012, 10:02am UTC
A beautiful, evocative poem.
Granny Janny Apr 14, 2012, 11:31am UTC
It is the last couplet that catapults the former ones to the moon and into the heart of the reader. Featured for finesse on Poet's Weekly Muse!
Richard Thuss Apr 14, 2012, 11:59am UTC
Wow! That really made me smile.
Ann Marcaida Apr 14, 2012, 1:35pm UTC
I read this in light of your recent medical issues. You and your lover will remain connected despite the rolling and upheaval of emotions and possible loss of mobility. It's ordained.

Tweeted!
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 14, 2012, 5:07pm UTC
I am fond of this, Atticus. Mustafa correctly stated your sublime adherence to the form proving that form does not detract, but enhance. The ghazal is a powerful form and you have helped us to appreciate its muscle.

You’ve taken the challenge with success. Now appearing on the pages of Mindful Poetry.
Angela A. Apr 14, 2012, 6:25pm UTC
Very awesome poem!
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May you ride the moon across the restless sea.
Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 15, 2012, 1:36am UTC
Because this shows the reader what a ghazal can achieve...
Kerry Dexter Apr 15, 2012, 7:53am UTC
congratulations, Atticus.
JOHN BECK Apr 15, 2012, 8:13am UTC
Congratulations, Atticus, on Poem of the Day.
Janet "Jax" B. Apr 16, 2012, 12:18am UTC
congrats Atticus!
Atticus *. Apr 16, 2012, 8:38am UTC
An honor, my dear Susan. Thank you so very much. :-)
Atticus *. Apr 16, 2012, 8:39am UTC
Thank you very much John, Kerry, and Jax.
A. F. Stewart Apr 16, 2012, 10:24am UTC
Congratulations, a perfect pick for Poem of the Day.
Granny Janny Apr 16, 2012, 2:27am UTC
Well deserved win, my friend. Congratulations.
Virginia M. Apr 16, 2012, 5:46am UTC
Congratulations, Atticus!
Angie O. Apr 16, 2012, 6:55am UTC
Great Job Atticus! Congrats!
Richard Lynn Livesay Apr 16, 2012, 1:05pm UTC
classical poetics...If moon can climb the wind as man can roam the shore,
wow
Barbara H. Apr 16, 2012, 2:47pm UTC
Such a beautiful and tender write! Bravo!

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