Little Willie for Mindful Poetry Contest #1

Little Willie eating lobster

In the restaurant of a mobster

Quipped as cleavers lopped my head off,

â€œThese paesans sure love their red sauce!â€

Â© 2012 Douglas J. Westberg. All Rights Reserved. Â Please share this on Gather.com, and elsewhere on the web by means of a link back to this page, but please do not copy. Â Doug's latest book is The Depressed Guy's Book of Wisdom from Chipmunka Publishing.

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Comments: 24

JOHN BECK Apr 2, 2012, 4:25pm UTC

What it lacks in rhyme it makes up in humorous shock value, which is what Little Willies are all about.

Doug Westberg Apr 2, 2012, 4:42pm UTC

Indeed. When writing verse or lyrics, I always prefer loose rhymes to exact rhymes which clank or compromise the meaning. In the case of "Head off" and "Red sauce", the emphasized syllable rhymes, and the unemphasized syllable is a vowel rhyme. Moreover, the looseness of the rhyme is in and of itself often a source of humor. So, yeah, you are right on.

JOHN BECK Apr 2, 2012, 4:49pm UTC

Yes, definitely "head" and "red" rhyme. The overall effect, as I mentioned, is the intended (sick) humor.

Doug Westberg Apr 2, 2012, 9:25pm UTC

Thanks for the thoughtful look!

reply to this comment

Veronica Hosking Apr 2, 2012, 4:27pm UTC

Cute made me chuckle.

Doug Westberg Apr 2, 2012, 4:42pm UTC

Thank you!

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Pam Brittain Apr 2, 2012, 4:44pm UTC

Eeeewwwwwuuuuu. Visual. Eeeewwwwwuuuuu.

Doug Westberg Apr 2, 2012, 9:26pm UTC

Thanks, Pam!

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Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 2, 2012, 5:14pm UTC

Yikes! This one took a couple reads to fully grasp whose head was going to the chopping block.

Thanks for contributing to today's Mindful Poetry Contest.