by Mzzz Sweets - Sandy (Why do I have to add a last name?)
Member since:
September 8, 2006

People can be so darn hurtful

March 28, 2012 07:08 PM UTC
views: 0 | 12 people recommend this | comments: 59

My daughter was playing outside. Next thing I know she came in crying. She told me some of the neighbors I don't get along with in the trailer part is telling the new residents of the trailer part  that she is a weird child and is not allowed to play with her kids. But her brother can. Now how hurtful is that?  It doesn't bother me when people talk about me and create rumors. But when it comes to my kids....Well, that is where this Momma bear is getting real tired of seeing my daughter cry on an almost daily bases.

It is bad enough she keeps getting picked on a daily bases at school. Bad enough where kids are writing looser and such on her school papers. But now it has leaked in to the trailer park where we live. I am at my wits end. I have been trying to get the school counselor to call me back. My daughters psychotherapist told me to contact the school counselor about her needing tutor help and other issues that has arised. Since she does have an effective IEP and her meds are currently working. She has ADHD, a cognitive issue and some other stuff going on. She is immature for her age but progressing. On top of being nearly blind.

I am so wanting to move out of this school district but not sure if it will happen because housing costs has sky rocketed in my area.

Now sure where I was going with this post besides people can be so hurtful. Good thing choking someone to death isn't legal because I can think of some people right now it would happen to if it was. I just know my daughter does not deserve all this crap that has been thrown at her. She can really shine if people let her. The people that get to know her tell me how much of a sweetie she is. She is the type that wears her heart on her sleeve. It really breaks my heart knowing people can be so hurtful.

Comments: 59

libramoon .. Mar 28, 2012, 7:24pm UTC
Give your daughter all the love and support you can. Especially let her know, over and over and in various narratives that what others say about her is more about them and their own bad behavior.
Thank you for the advice. I do try and give my kids encouragement on a daily bases.
Renee (Pres of Baby James Foundation) ~. Mar 28, 2012, 7:24pm UTC
That is terrible, people are so darn cruel
Yes they certainly can. Hurting kids is just wrong. Words can be so hurtful to a growing young girl.
Nora D. Mar 28, 2012, 7:51pm UTC
I am so terribly, terribly sorry that all that "crap" is happening.......it makes me just furious, how mean people, both kids and adults, can be sometimes..........especially the kids....makes me just wonder what kind of parents they have.......I think, if there was any possible way, I'd try to get out of that trailer court/school district and move somewhere else.....but know that's easier said than done.......I would talk to ALL school officials, from the principal on down to the counselor(s), teachers, etc.......let them ALL know exactly what's going on, about all the cruel teasing/harrassment, etc........it's important to let as many adults at school know what's going on.........I truly hope things will work out for the best for all of you.
Thank you Nora. I am going to be making some more phone calls in the morning to see what I can do to get these things to stop.
J F. Mar 28, 2012, 7:57pm UTC
Moving isn't the answer. I hope things get better for the both of you. Hopefully she will understand some day that those kids have major problems being like that and aren't happy with themselves.
I am trying to re instill positive encouragements when we encounter such stuff.
If I move it will be in to town where another school, where my kids will be nearer to there relatives. They will be going to school with cousins who will help in situations of being bullied.
Heather M. Mar 28, 2012, 7:57pm UTC
Get her involved in activities where she can both shine and make friends with other kids.

Public schools tend to be rife with bullying. That's one of the reasons why I laugh when people bring that tired old B.S. about "socialization" out whenever anyone mentions home schooling.

Hopefully, you will have the chance to move to another school district soon. If your daughter were extremely academically gifted, she may have escaped the public school system via a scholarship to a private school. Unfortunately, that isn't the case.
My daughter is involved Girl Scouts. But I have witnessed where she has been singled out there as well. Not sure why but she does like going to Girl Scouts. So thats a start. She is not really good at any sports. So, I am trying to find things she can do that she can express herself and still grow.
Heather M. Mar 28, 2012, 9:07pm UTC
I'm not certain what is available in your area. Depending on the leadership and group of kids involved, 4-H could be a good option. However, whatever she gets involved in, it really needs to be with a group of kids from another school district--that way, her reputation won't already be cemented.
She has been talking about 4-H. I have thought about allowing her in it. But right now having a reliable running vehicle is the issue with that.

But like I stated above I am planning on moving this summer at the earliest or with in the next year.
Peter Joseph Swanson Mar 28, 2012, 8:04pm UTC
How terrible! What monsters! I hope she can make some nice new friends so that the bullies don't matter so much.
So do I. Right now she has one little girl she has been friends with from the start that to has become the object of being bullied. The thing about that is..the mom looked up me on Facebook and thinks I am a thug and won't let her come over or anything....Does my Facebook page really make me look like a thug?....Not in my opinion. That is just judgmental people who judge before they get to know someone. How rude!!
Ellen T P. Mar 28, 2012, 8:10pm UTC
This was a touching post...thanks...
Thanks for veiwing
connie h. Mar 28, 2012, 8:48pm UTC
I'm sorry your going throuh this. I raised 2 kids with ADHD and the one had the IEP and I know how the schools are, I think I have a 3rd one with it after raising 2 already, and yes people can be really mean. I hope things start to look up for you.
Thank you Connie. It just makes things so much harder when kids have ADHD.these are the type of trails I wish I could protect my children from. But know I can't protect them from everything. So, I am just trying to prepare them on how to handle certain situations.
connie h. Mar 28, 2012, 9:44pm UTC
Yes I know it is hard and very stressful at times, I pray alot and I go to the gym alot, it helps work off the stress and it is hard when the schools don't listen to you either my oldest had learn disabilities and I fought with them for a few years and all they would say is a d is passing, after I was hit by a drunk driver I got them counsling and the counlser is the one who went over there heads and got someone in the school district to listen and test her so she pased the last 6 weeks of 6 grade enough to get her in 7th. She didn't like the special classes but it got her through to graduate.
I finally got a call back from the school counselor today. She took down all the info I gave her. She is going to look in to it and see what's going on. I guess she was out of the office for a week.
Vj McMullan Mar 28, 2012, 9:32pm UTC
Hopefully, like Peter mentioned, she can find some friends to stave off the mental anguish that these bullys like to inflict on others. Growing up I always had friends and if people got mean on me, friends were my saving grace.
I am hoping so. But makes it hard when adults in the trailer park we live in run their mouths. Adults just need to stop because I didn't say anything about the crap last summer. But let them try it this year. I am low enough to get the cops involved for my little girls sake.
Janie E. Mar 28, 2012, 9:34pm UTC
So sorry this is happening to your daughter. No child deserves this kind of treatment. Love her and support her as only you can. Some people just don't have anything better to do than to make a child's life, miserable.
The worse part is these same people have no idea the damage they are doing to the children when they do it. Or don't care. Either way they suck as adults in general.
Janie E. Apr 3, 2012, 5:46pm UTC
Yes, they do!!! As adults, they should know better, but, don't.
Yeah, I am sure these adults know better but don't do better.
Janie E. Jun 28, 2012, 12:25am UTC
I agree!!
Heidi S. Mar 28, 2012, 9:36pm UTC
I know what you are going through, and I agree - people can be so cruel. I feel for you and your daughter. In my school district we can request a school out of our zone if it doesn't meet the "no child left behind" requirements. They even provide the transportation. Since the school is not communicating with you like they should be, maybe you can contact the school board and complain - that might get things shaking...
I finally got a hold of the school counselor today. She has been out of the office for a week. So, I am going to have a wait and see approach. I think the things I told will get things moving.
Oh and yes we can transfer schools. But they do not provide transportation out of the school district. I don't have a reliable enough vehicle to drive her to another school every day and pick her up.
Lisa Westerfield Mar 28, 2012, 10:26pm UTC
I feel for both your daughter and you. Here is a suggestion that is outside the norm, you can't change the mindset of others, but you can change your own. Work with your daughter, maybe get some help with your son, and do things that are exclusively fun for her. Sort of like a Tom Sawyer set up. She is doing this, and this, and that because she is wonderful. Have her invite a friend, maybe something like a movie. You will be in my thoughst. : )
Her brother is going through the teen phaze big time. He is 13 yrs old now.. Ugh! But I do plan on having her cousins stay the night in the up coming weeks. Shew does get along really well with a few of them. I am going to start from there.

As for her best friend, I am not sure what is going on there. Seems the girls getting further apart in some way. Not sure. I do know the girls mom think sI am a thug and wont allow her to visit. Mine you I have never spoken to the people in my life. Its their opinion of my facebook page.
Nancy S. Mar 28, 2012, 10:36pm UTC
I know kids can be cruel and that's bad enough but when grownups join in that just makes me furious. Maybe you can call the friends mother and go talk to her face to face and show her how nice you really are. If she knows the situation she might even be able to help you with some of the bullying. Go to the school and insist that they take you seriously. Don't allow them to just pass it off.
I spoke with the school counselor today. After playing tag with her being out of the office. She did seem concerned about what I had to say and understands why I did not go in detail about in on a answering machine. So I am hoping I will see some type of results in the next few days.
Nancy S. Apr 2, 2012, 2:15pm UTC
I sure hope so Sandy. Good luck.
Well, I haven't heard back. I was told by my daughter as needing help with math she was told to ask her teacher..thats the problem she already did and was ignored. grrr!!! Nothing was said about the kid on the bus calling her a 'rapist' just to be mean to my girl!!
Kimmie M. Mar 28, 2012, 10:42pm UTC
Kids are so cruel! and most of the time money has nothing to do with it. My sister is much more well off than me, although we came from the same place.. LOL but I will tell you her girls who are in the 4th & 5th grades opposed to my kids that are 21 & almost 18 are experiencing the same type of problems in their school in an upper crust area of sea coast NH... Personally I have ADD was not diagnosed until after my son saw a child psychologist at a very young age and was diagnosed with ADHD.. well after much research my sister and one of her daughters have ADD, but on the opposite end of the spectrum from my son and I... we are the "procrastinating" type where as my sister and my niece are the "over achiever" types... neither is better or worse, different approaches needed to succeed... I hope you find some solace for your daughter, whether its moving or not only you will know... but raising kids and being kids is so much more difficult than when we were kids...
"But raising kids and being kids is so much more difficult than when we were kids..."

I could not of said that any better than what you just stated.

I live in a school district where it is a very rich farming community. My kids have never experienced such bullying and behaviors from others like this before. And they have been to multiple schools in different states. It has been on going and progressively getting worse in the last two years.

If I don't move this summer, it will be in the next year.
Kimmie M. Apr 2, 2012, 6:05pm UTC
Thats awful that it is that bad that you feel the need to move. I hope it all works out for you and your daughter.
Thank you Kimmie. With each passing day I have the urge to get up and move. Otherwise I feel one day I feel this momma bear will explode on someone for their stupidity. I am not sure how more I can take.
Kimmie M. Apr 5, 2012, 5:24pm UTC
Don't explode and matters worse for yourself and your daughter.. just hang tough =)
That is exactly what I am trying to do. I think that is why this summer I do plan on moving. Might be closer in to town.
Debbie W. Mar 28, 2012, 11:01pm UTC
It's too bad your daughter isn't in an environment like the one here at Gather, where people support one another! That's the best thing about Gather...people reach out and try to support each other. I hope things get better for her. She's very lucky to have you for her mother!
I so agree..I love Gather and that's why I keep coming back. Gather has been my support system when I had none. I could care less anymore about the points (they are nice but I'd much give my support back to others).
Steph-in-NE ..... Mar 28, 2012, 11:50pm UTC
folks are mean,, yet there are good one out there,, I have issue with my gson at time and I tell him that the greater will out do the evil,,,
Yes folks can be mean and cruel but when adults add to the mix..it gets worse.
♥ Christine aka stine1 ♥ Mar 29, 2012, 4:20am UTC
Oh my, I am so sorry :-(
Thank you. I am to!
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Mar 29, 2012, 5:37pm UTC
That is terrible. I have been through similar things with my neighbors. But the neighbor who says my daughter is weird, is called weird by the other neighbors. Go figure. Give her a hug and tell her what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. She will be stronger. They will be . . .
I did just that. I told her that everyone is weird. That life would be boring if everyone were the same. Than I wrapped my arms around her, gave her a big hug and told her how special she is tome.
Jennine D. Mar 29, 2012, 7:44pm UTC
I would first make sure you can back up the behavior of these rude and mean people. Have a witness or two you can trust. As to the new neighbors take them a pie or cookies, cassarole and welcome them to the neighborhood. Don't talk nasty about the people who trashed your daughter. Also contact the manager of the trailer court your in. Tell them what neighbors are harassing you and your child. Let him/her know you need action if the neighbors continue their behavior toward you and your child. Document dates, times, place, names when incidents occur. Get photo or video if you can. Call the police and if need file harassment and bullying charges against these people. Also teach your daughter how to burn people in a way they are not sure if she complimented them or dissed them. My kids learned that well. Pretty much turned the tables back on the perps.
The manager of the trailer park won't do anything about whats going on. All he does is mow and collect rent. He is only 22 yrs old and the landlords little brother.

I was finally contacted by the school counselor after playing phone tag with her all week. She jotted everything down So, i am waiting for my daughter to come home and see if anyone even talked to her yet..I will give it a couple of days than I will be ringing the school once again.
Matthew A. Mar 29, 2012, 8:55pm UTC
The problem is that cruelty breeds cruelty. So teach your daughter not to follow in that same path. I'm so sorry to hear this.
That is what I am hoping to do. My daughter is the very bubbly wants to help everyone.
Morgan S. Mar 30, 2012, 3:44pm UTC
heartbreaking.
William M. Apr 2, 2012, 9:53pm UTC
It is a shame. I wish I had an answer for you.
Me to..I am not going to stop looking thou. I am sure the answer is there somewhere., Even if I find it in small doses.
Susan G. Apr 6, 2012, 7:45am UTC
It's really low for an adult to pick on a child. They should be ashamed of themselves.
I agree 100%.

Join the Conversation
Chime in! Become a Gather member to comment.
Already a member? Sign in
top
 
Gather | Friends | Groups | Share
About Gather | Engagement Marketing | Gather Points | Advertise on Gather | Gather Press | Privacy | Terms of Service | Community Guidelines
Books | Business | Celebs | Entertainment | Family | Food | Giveaways | Health | Money | Moms | News | Politics | Sports | Style | Technology | Travel | Writing
Version 18247, "Zach"; Copyright © 2013 Gather Inc. All rights reserved.