A Tribute By Silent Monks : SaTwE (Tribute)

The oldest building in our city is a monastery where only the most stolid of monks do abide. They ceremoniously and solemnly vow not to read, write or speak, except on the day changing into daylight savings time. In the early years, the monks would discuss the meaning of ’Loose lips sink ships’ and say it several times. However, last year there were some changes put forth by Brother Leo and some called on him to resign..

Brother Leo addressed the group saying, ‘I had a dream we would be a more positive force on society, if we paid tribute to someone outside our monastery.’ This created quite a scene as a few monks squirmed in their seats. Murmurs were flying until the oldest Brother stood up and angrily called Brother Leo  ‘a heretic and an apostate to all that’s Holy and Orthodox three times, then also added, you're also a fink.

When the monks finally persuaded this elder Brother to calm down, he said back to them, ’Sorry, but what was the topic on?’ When told he said, ’That’s a splendid idea.’ A vote was taken and the losing side thought acceptance too radical, but agreed to participate and not revolt as long as the tribute logical.

Most monks long for, in the deep recess of their carnal soul, to buy a pizza pie to tantalize their parsnip weary taste buds. Brother Leo realizing this weakness sensibly said, ’Let’s pay tribute to pizza parlors.’ Most agreed, but Brother Sun said, ’my pizza supplier bought the farm and I have no one to order from.’

Brother Leo smiled and said, ’Brothers, we should let Brother Sun sample each of our pizza pie flavors and let Brother Sun’s write a pizza parlor tribute.'  Monks wanting a supreme pizza pie said, ‘Cool, so be it,’ and sang a popular dirge with gusto before ordering.

Everything went smoothly last year, but this year there’s controversy because the tribute is about people who Gather in a common place with sites often slow to open. There are comments that evaporate and it seems Dante’s Inferno part of this landscape. Obviously, there is no one at the wheel, so surfing seems like a loaf of bread heel. However, an unnamed source has revealed this year’s tribute list with a few blemishes that may need to be edited.     

#1 on the tribute list is Len Maxell for illustrating a drip method for monastery infirmary medicine. All of the monks spoke of his invention extremely favorably.

#2 is Pam Brittain for causing heightened awareness of problems with monastary plumbing. Her stimulating words were read aloud: ‘Dug our own septic tank and leach line.’ Upon hearing this the Brothers formed a committee and agree to stop procrastinating and started digging.

I should stop because I heard the tribute list has been delayed. A monk was found watering a dandelion he said was given to him as an offering by none other than Queen Elsie Duggan. His locker was searched and they found a bag of dandelion seeds. The monks then formed a committee about the ’dandelion’ monk’s chances in purgatory.