Don't Burn The Toast (Humor)

Given the state of the world, the state of our economy and the state of my bank account, it’s often hard to maintain my normally peaceful, even keeled disposition. And I ask that you please do not forward that statement to my wife. She would die of laughter, and I like having her around.

She would admit, however, that I have really embraced this concept of living in the moment or living in the now, and that I’m actively working at consciously managing my thoughts by attempting to change any negative thoughts to more positive ones as each moment of my life ticks by.

I used to be an “F” student in this type of endeavor: A negative event of any kind would keep my mind ruminating in the negative thought gutter for long periods at a time.

I have progressed significantly, and I would grade myself as a solid “B” student lately if you let me grade myself on a curve where I get to pick the other three members of my class.

I’m not yet into the “A” student category, since there are times when even little things can set me off. And by little things, I usually mean congress, the president, Bernanke, and the fact that the batteries in my DVD remote keep falling out.

I decided today that until I actually reach enlightenment status, that the only way I’m going to keep climbing up this self-improvement ladder is to allow myself a pet peeve of the day.

Not two or three peeves, just one, and I have to pick it by eight o’clock in the morning so I don’t waste the whole day deciding. Once selected, it is the only thing I’m allowed to have more than a fleeting negative thought about. All other annoyances will have to be summarily dismissed.

I know this is not going to be easy, especially at first, so I’ve decided to spend the first day in bed, and I’ve asked my wife to bring me my meals there.

Boy I hope she doesn’t burn the toast.