Katy Perry has made a shocking revelation. The former Mrs. Russell Brand has admitted to sleeping with her fans. Lots of them; all of them; any of them who want to sleep with her. Yikes. It's obviously tough being a newly divorced woman. In fact, Howard Hughes allegedly once referred to divorcees as "wet decks." But, Katy, get a grip. Okay, okay. Before the dreaded Prudes—er—Parents' Television Council bursts their collective blood vessels, Katy's not having sex with her fans. Not real sex anyway. It's virtual sex, and it's part of a new video game that allows it's players to "sing, dance and even sleep with their favorite star."
"It's all very innocent," explains La Perry. "All that happens is my character and someone else's lay on a bed together, the covers go over and little hearts rise up from the bed."
Katy Perry thinks of the new video game as a kind of helpful parenting tool that will come in handy when kids start asking their parental units awkward questions like: "where do babies come from?" And she may be right, if mommy and daddy want their offspring to believe that children are conceived in hearts floating over bedspreads. Wouldn't the old stories about the stork or the cabbage leaf be easier?
Anyway, the video game series is called The Sims 3: Showtime, and it's presumably available wherever video games are sold.
Good luck, parental units. You too, Katy Perry.
© Hope Carson 2012
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker andA Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.
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