Here at Chez Katz we're fully prepared for the Puppy Bowl. We've assembled all of the snacks and beverages and are ready to give our full attention to the TV. This year, in addition to the puppies and the kitten half time show there will be piglet cheerleaders. How can you resist? I wouldn't mind seeing some other species like goats, tapirs, orangutans, ducks, sloths, and lemurs but I'll take what I can get. In fairness to other animal species, I'd like to see just about any of them as long as the carnivores can't get at the snack species.
Speaking of snacks, we have a full lineup of junk food. Here's what we're having:
- The traditional Pups in a Blanket, i. e. Hebrew National full fat hot dogs wrapped in "crescent" rolls that come in a can from the refrigerator section of the grocery store.
- Potato chips and avocado dip. No guacamole or esoteric tortilla chips for this event. We draw the line at nachos only because pasteurized processed cheez food is more than even we can handle.
- Chocolate chip cookies. This is a quasi-foodie element. The recipe comes from a cookbook by Alice Medrich. Fortunately they have butter, sugar, and chocolate chips so they're corrupt by definition.
- Diet Pepsi and Diet Squirt. Original Fresca--the cyclamate sweetened grapefruit diet soda--is long gone so diet Squirt is the only decent substitute. Nouveau Fresca is an abomination. Diet Pepsi is on the menu just because it's a cola soft drink with caffeine. Besides, we're members of the Pepsi Generation. It's important too that we get the daily recommended amount of guar gum.
There are some peculiar things about the Puppy Bowl. They don't seem to keep score and the rules aren't fixed. The human referee, in past years, looked like his consciousness may have been altered. Then again, looking bemused may be a job requirement.
The Puppy Bowl is on Animal Planet for most of the day. You don't have to watch it from the start. We often record the kitten half time show so we can watch it again.