Sand Beneath My Feet

Sand Beneath My Feet

by Caroline Adele O'Brien

He moves in circles

Surrounding my foggy,

Jaded form;

Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture leaking,

Filling the void

Where he once was.

No ice, just water

Churning the sand beneath my feet.

The sand quickens its sinking

Pace, sucking my feet in, then

My legs.

Alive, yet not alive,

I wander

The desolate beach, sand

Burning the soles,

Toes numbing, aching.

I am unable to halt my stepping.

He spins circles,

Spirals through waves as they breathe

In, then out,

Blowing their salt

Into my eyes.

Comments: 12

JOHN BECK Jan 31, 2012, 6:09pm UTC

A strong metaphor.

Caroline Adele O'Brien May 22, 2012, 4:26pm UTC

Thank you :)

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Granny Janny Feb 1, 2012, 12:42am UTC

Mind and body move through reaction to life
Sand and sea provide the solid surface on which
The soul must process change
Tears cleanse and render renewal and acceptance

Caroline Adele O'Brien May 22, 2012, 4:28pm UTC

Wow! Hahaha! I think you understand more of what I was trying to say than I did when I wrote it. :) Thank you!!!! It looks like I got across what I meant to :) That so rarely happens for me in poetry.

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Granny Janny Feb 1, 2012, 12:43am UTC

Welcome to Poet's Weekly Muse. Your poem is now featured on the group.

Caroline Adele O'Brien May 22, 2012, 4:28pm UTC

Awww, thank you! :)

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Irina Dimitric Feb 1, 2012, 3:18am UTC

Loss of love painted with such powerful metaphors... the whole body aches...beautiful poetry.

Caroline Adele O'Brien May 22, 2012, 4:32pm UTC

Thank you Irina! I'm so glad that this one makes sense. hahaha! Most of the time my images convey the wrong message. That's the whole reason I began writing poetry. In my prose, I tend to use incorrect imagery and I end up getting laughs in my dramatic scenes, when I meant to get a fearful or sad reaction. I wrote a whole story about a girl who buys a winning lottery ticket and is murdered on her way home by a guy who overhears her telling her husband on the phone that they are rich. When I read it in class, the whole class was in tears from laughing so hard. It was quite the opposite reaction I meant to get. So I started writing poems in order to learn more about how to use imagery to evoke emotions. I'm so glad this one worked out! Thank you for your feedback :)

Irina Dimitric May 25, 2012, 6:56am UTC

It must be clear to you by now that you're a born poet!

Caroline Adele O'Brien Jun 13, 2012, 10:08pm UTC

Aww, thank you.

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Ann Marcaida Aug 1, 2012, 1:41pm UTC

Beautiful job of personifying an experience we are all familiar with. Tweeted!

Caroline Adele O'Brien Aug 1, 2012, 5:45pm UTC

Thank you Ann! It's definitely a subject that's written about often. I usually avoid the topic, but since the last breakup was so bad, I don't think I could help myself. lol Thanks for tweeting as well!!

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Sand Beneath My Feet

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Comments: 12

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