The Keebler Elf - Monday Writing Essential

This week’s writing challenge: create a character for Grandma Scheiffer’s rooming house. Search your memory, scour your experience and make a character who lives on the margins of society - come to life.

The character below is based on a handyman who once helped out around the bar I managed and is pretty much a real story.

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Keebler

Nobody knows where he came from because he never talks about his past. He might be five feet tall, but I doubt it, and I don’t think he weighs more than 125 pounds but he always manages to lift the heaviest loads and keep going from dawn ‘til dusk. His thinning, reddish hair is an unruly mop and I don’t think it’s seen a comb in years. He’s missing three of his front teeth and we know that because he’s always smiling -- nothing seems to get him down.

We also know he can fix almost anything because he’s been helping Grandma Scheiffer build walls, run electrical wiring up and down the building, and even managed to get the old furnace to put out some heat the past few weeks of cold weather.

Right after he moved in one of the other residents mentioned that he looked a lot like the Keebler elf on the cookie packages and that name has stuck with him ever since. I’m sure even Grandma Scheiffer doesn’t know his real name and I think the rest of us would be disappointed to find out that he had some kind of common name such as Greg or Len.

Comments: 33

Kimberly Blackadar Jan 22, 2012, 9:32pm UTC

Great write, Len. It's funny how some people are only known by their nicknames.

I like how you make fun of yourself (and Greg) at the end: "I think the rest of us would be disappointed to find out that he had some kind of common name such as Greg or Len."

Greg Schiller Jan 22, 2012, 10:48pm UTC

I think his name probably is not like 'Greg', more like "Len'. :)

Len Maxwell Jan 27, 2012, 4:05pm UTC

Oh, wow, I didn't even notice that I used Greg's name. I really have to pay more attention to what I'm writing.

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elizabeth evans Jan 22, 2012, 9:32pm UTC

...or John or Bernard.

By the way, does Keebler have a license to be fiddling with Gramma's wiring?

elizabeth evans Jan 22, 2012, 9:33pm UTC

Thanks for sharing with Triple Name Club.

Len Maxwell Jan 27, 2012, 4:06pm UTC

I don't think Keebler had a license for anything because he couldn't read. He could look at an electrical wiring diagram and understand everything on it, but he couldn't read even a comic book.

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Visionaerie B. Jan 22, 2012, 10:18pm UTC

Great one! It reminds me of that Auntie Wainwright's shop on 'Last of the Summer Wine'! I had a friend in college who lived in Elmhurst where the Keebler HQ was, and another one lived in Zion where they make fig bars. Thanks for sharing this!

Len Maxwell Jan 27, 2012, 4:09pm UTC

The obvious question is whether either of your friends ever saw a real Keebler elf?

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Debra Raupe Jan 22, 2012, 10:20pm UTC

When my aunt have own the store since to 2004, I was a kid, she decided closed her business the store, no more. because she is retired now and my grandma passed away in 2004.