In 2011 I posted my America, Surreal America series, consisting of 16 photo essays, with each one comprised of 20 surreal photographs, some 320 images. That series was a follow up on the previous twenty-part series, Magi Discovering America - consisting of 722 photographs selected from well over 17,000 edited images taken during my six months exploration of the USA in 2010. During the 2009 and 2010-11 periods I also posted some 72 photo-essays - surreal and other - about life in Western Australia: just over 1,000 photos in all.
Be that as it may, after America, Surreal America I posted a new series, the recently concluded Surreal America, consisting of 634 photographs. Simultaneously with this series I posted the six part Forest Hills Cemetery series of 189 images - with the subject matter itself needing no manipulations by me to make it surreal. When that mini-series ceased, I posted two surreal photo essays, of some 72 photos, depicting an autumn road trip to Canada via New Hampshire and Maine.
I reckon people have seen enough for a while of my take on slivers of living in North America - a total of approximately 1,800 photos to accompany the 1,000 West Aussie images. So let's take aim with a total of 476 photographs at what it is like to engage in what I've termed the Surreal English & French experience. It is a surreal look in that every photograph has been altered. This has been mainly accomplished by using Picasa but sometimes by also using Microsoft Paint as well to manipulate the images. Not a single image is as the eye would ordinarily see it.
Now, let's take each country in turn, beginning with England - and what better way to kick it all off than by looking at going via shanks ponies and train to ... to London, of course, from the burbs, of course. And let's hope the course doesn't get coarse! Keeping my hopeless commentary short will help with that. As will me scrupulously citing any references, meticulously following the embalmed encyclicals in the Dead Sea Scrolls Style Manual revelations for struggling scholars.
Image 01
Our home base while in England - the home of Lynn and my brother Hans in Sunningdale, Berkshire, an affluent suburb surrounded by the extensive royal estates.
G'day, Liz! Put the kettle on and we'll pop around for a chinwag. G'day, Phil, saddle a couple of bloody nags, mate, and we'll trot around seeing how the other half live.
Image 02
To and from Heathrow Airport we saw this sight a short way from home. A sign says that across the road is Royal Holloway, University of London. There is a permanent vacancy for a multi-skilled chimney sweep adept at clearing gutters.
Image 03
This soon became a familiar sight: Bob trudging in the early morning light towards the Sunningdale railway station. But then wearily walking home in the dark because of the very short days during the autumn-winter darkness that is London. The anonymous person who took this photograph invariably staggered on blistered and bleeding feet behind her.
Image 04
If only the Beatles had used this as their song title ... this would then not be an area with dark, dense shrubbery for a community of muggers to safely hide in.
Image 05
I can almost hear the ghost of Johnny Cash singing, I Heard That Lonesome Whistle Blow.
(Source: an anonymous quotation from the Dead Sea Scrolls secret after-life edition of The Encyclopedia of Ghost Singers.)
Image 06
Here on the pedestrian bridge high above the lines one is given stunning views of the storm clouds brewing in the direction of London, our destination today.
Image 07
As the funky train alarmingly squeals to a halt, an English gentlemen reassuringly gropes the thigh of a terrified stranger. Chivalry is not dead on train stations.
(Source: a security camera image from the Dead Sea Scrolls expose edition of The Gentleman Groper's Handbook.)
Image 08
We ignore the bomb disposal squad checking the approaches to Waterloo Station. We turn our noses up at second hand chewing gum sold at bargain prices to passengers by the squad.
(Source: an illustrative photograph from the Dead Sea Scrolls travel advice edition of The Bomb Squad and You.)
Image 09
We resist the temptation to feed the inner tourist ... the still hidden sights of London beckon.
(Source: an advertisement from the Dead Sea Scrolls culinary section of The Bomb Squad Loves You.)
Image 10
As we search for the exit, a sight to behold is this shrine to a once freshly baked Nero Caesar who fiddled black and blue during the great fire of London.
(Source: the Roman Dead Sea Scrolls special edition of The Classified Untold History of England.)
Image 11
We must have taken a wrong turning on this sprawling station that is the Waterloo terminus and somehow stumbled onto where Cinderellas come for magic pumpkins.
(Source: a faked image from the Fantasia Dead Sea Scrolls unabridged fairytale edition of How to Defy Stepmothers and Three Ugly Sisters.)
Image 12
A railway bathroom for gentleman which, unfortunately, has neither a shower nor bath but does have Olde World graffiti daubed on the wall tiles. However, it seems prudent not to go inside, for the floor appears to be soaked in blood. Chivalry does not extend to public bathrooms for gentlemen.
(Source: a candid camera photograph image from the Dead Sea Scrolls unedited draft of The handbook for gentleman gropers.)
Image 13
Eureka! The ciggy smoke clouds did not lead us astray - we have discovered the main portal to Waterloo Station.
Image 14
Here we see none other than Waterloo Bridge. A romantic movie of precisely that name, subsequently remade twice, was voted at the Colosseum Academy Awards as being of no less than 10 boxes of tissues in value at the original screening. All repeat screenings of this tear jerker were judged to be worth five boxes of tissues.
(Source: the Italian Dead Sea Scrolls revised edition of The Classified Untold History of the Coliseum's Gladiator Academy Awards.)
Image 15
Here we see the bloodshot Eye that ceaselessly searches for the Precious - a one-way, first class air to anywhere in Australia.
(Source: a reconstructed drawing from the Dead Sea Scrolls warning edition of The Vegemite Ring of Power.)
Image 16
Bob thanks Paul, a thorough gentleman we met on the train and who rescued us when we misread directions of the ciggy smoke signals on Waterloo Station; and who then escorted us to here where we simply could not get lost ... though we later tried.
Image 17
Thank you very much, Paul! Both Bob and I hope that our paths will cross again some day.
Image 18
Bob and the contents of her pocket book are hidden in shadow and away from the Eye searching the other way.
Image 19
We who are about to die salute you ...
Oh, you brave fools, you brave fools!
(Source: the Roman Dead Sea Scrolls truncated Spartacus edition of The Roman Army Needs You.)
Image 20
Like a moth to the flame, Bob seems to be drawn to the Eye, no matter how far away it is. Don't go that way, Bob. It wants the Precious!
(Source: a secret photograph from the Dead Sea Scrolls Orbiting Satellite Camera feel-good edition of The Optometrist is Precious.)
Image 21
We really do have to stop meeting like this!
Image 22
This ecstatic, public adoration of technology is totally shameless. Can texting become even more absurd?
(Source: an anonymous image from the Dead Sea Scrolls blatant after life edition of To Hell With Road Rules, The Dark Side is With You.)
Image 23
The Big Issue: To walk or not to walk.
Oh, run you fool, to the safety of Dr Who's phone box, disguised in red.
Image 24
Their turn to sit in the sun and take time out for a puff of a ciggy.
(Source: the Roman-Italian Dead Sea Scrolls pizza edition of The Spaghetti Western Standing Orders for Sitting Without Macaroni.)
Image 25
There ain't no sunshine sitting outside Dalys Wine Bar where it is so damned cold.
Image 26
Reading all about irate taxpayers and the damned homeless.
(Source: a drive-by image from the Dead Sea Scrolls unedited draft of The Taxpayer and Retired Gentlemen.)
Image 27
This must be where they made the movie, Bus Stop and where the Hollies sang the song of the same name. But where's the bloody bus?
(Source: a security camera photograph from the Dead Sea Scrolls bus stop aversion therapy sealed section of The Sphinx and Mummy Want to Meet You - discrete brown paper bag edition.)
Image 28
With darkness falling, it's time to catch the train home.
Image 29
A painter's life is not an easy one - it can be hard on the bum sitting all day in a railway station.
Image 30
The end of the line or a new beginning starts here. And always, it starts now.
(Source: the Roman Dead Sea Scrolls Abridged edition of The Roman Army's Standing Orders for Camel and Other Trains.)
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Comments: 106
I had fun altering the images to make the camera lie.
Thank you for submitting to: Not Gathering Dust!
I think the London Eye is an abomination ... it is an ugly edifice to bad taste, in my view, and is plonked smack bang near so much historic architecture.
The first 5 nearly destroyed my vision and focus. Bright tinted images are a blur and irritate my nervous system. I cannot make out the underlying image at all. I wear gray tinted sunglasses, polarized and the lens on my camera also has a polarized filter. Fortunately, the eye cup on the EOS 60D is huge, which allows me to keep my eyeglasses on while shooting the sun rising and sun sets.
As to the problems caused by the first five images - reddish-orange tinting - I'm sorry to hear that, JR. Red and the huge variety of its hues are so useful in what I do that I can't easily or really avoid using them. For your sake, I would if I could. But, alas, it is already difficult enough as it is.
Smiles...
Either way, eye-sore or eye-soar it is an abomination! LOL...It does cause my blood pressure to rise/soar! Smiles...
Enough!
In today's society, that's enough reason for it to continue!
I'm far too Scots for that!
As to the rest. Enough, indeed!
I don't like the eye, but it let's people have an otherwise unobtainable view of London. London is both a working city and a holiday destination - both groups are catered for.
But you're right in that it does give people an otherwise unobtainable view of London ... unless they go for a joy ride in a plane or hot air balloon.
I wonder about the percentages of people riding the Eye - how many of them are estimated to be tourists? I guess there is no way to tell. I also wonder if a poll was taken, would the majority want the Eye to remain or be torn down?
Smiles...
The London Eye makes the company a fortune - and most of the people I've seen on it have been tourists (it's one of the stops on our family tours for foreigners!)
BTW: The guy in Image 23 walked away from the planter box, adopted the difficult pose that we see in this photo and then held it, unwavering until I moved on.
:)
THANK YOU FOR SHARING AT SURREAL CIRCUS!
I'm gratified to hear that you and others like what I do with the camera and captions.
Thank you submitting to the Gather’s Luminous Writers and Artists. Now Featured.
My friend, go and see the place for yourself. But don't go in the season of short, dark days and long, cold nights. Go in the spring and/or summer.
Thank you for your supportive comment and for the honour of featuring this first excursion into the unknown.
Thanks for sharing and submitting to
The Surreal Circus.
Thank you very much for the feedback - I particularly wondered how this first excursion in England would strike someone living there.
So long since I was in londontown.
q - what station is the london eye near? weird that it would be there, but I cannot complain. we see weird things all over the ancient northeast usa... so many cultures and histories over time crashing into each other.
q- love that phone box. the first time i was in london at 17 - from..Amsterdam/Paris..? how did I even get to London? Must have been Train. but the phones in the phone box did not work! found a cabbie in a gorgeous rolls to take me to hyde park where my father in the b and b was waiting for me. the cabbie was delighted at driving an american minor all around london at extra charge, for i had no clue and my father wouldn't have been able to do anything about it.
the train stations look much better than when i was there at 19... spent about a month in the london and cornwall, edinburgh area.
and now i am hearing in my head - in hapenny lane,,,,
To answer your question:
(A) The London Eye is right near Waterloo Station - perhaps only a five minute walk away. I think the thing is an abomination, distracting from the beautiful and historic architecture virtually all around it. In short, I regard it as visual pollution.
Those Dr Who type phone boxes (red instead of blue) are everywhere. We used to also have them in Western Australia many years ago - but no more, alas. The London cabs are also everywhere - their shape is unique and very little changed since before World War II, from what I can make out.
Waterloo Station is enormous - much bigger, I think, than South Station in Boston. But like the Boston Station, one soon gets the hanging of navigating through it. And people - like Paul, whom we met on the train - are friendly and helpful. The Sunningdale Station is relatively small but all the many stations we used throughout our stay in England/Cornwall were clean and safe. The only downside of traveling by train there is the huge cost when compared to travel in Paris, the USA and in Perth.
Do the various museums of the world know that you've appropriated all the missing Dead Sea Scrolls?
I love ferris wheels but that thing just seems to be completely out of place.
Thanks for posting to the Eye of the World Wall on The Triple Name Club where it's now featured.
Don't mention my clandestine appropriation of the Dead Sea Scrolls to anyone, Len. I only borrow them in the dead of night and return them before first light.
I think Ferris wheels can add a carnival atmosphere but the London Eye is just plain tacky but on a huge scale - a bit like shoving a giant Ronald McDonald with a Big Mac and a bucket of stale chips hanging from around its neck into Westminster Abbey, beside the tomb of Queen Elizabeth I.
Thanks you very much for the honour of featuring this.
I remember seeing Waterloo Bridge many, many years ago...(the Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor version) and have tried to get it from Netflix, but they don't have it in their archives... I must have been about 13 when I saw it and do remember it to be a multi-kleenex sobber!
I agree with the rest above who claim that ferris wheel is an 'eye-soar'!
I have a little list of 6 (so far) not yet available movies on my Netflix queue
As to the movie, Waterloo Bridge (the Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor version), I really don't know what to suggest. I rather vaguely recall seeing it on the Turner Classic Movies channel some years ago, though I could be wrong about that.
I certainly hope that Kathryn is right and that they save these old movies by digitally copying them to Blu Ray.
I try to keep track of some of those old movies on the Turner Classic Movies channel...but sometimes the ones I am interested in run at such ghastly hours!!!
;-)
Sonia, yes, I have a few "unknown" on my Netflix, too. Like Wuthering Heights with Merle Oberon and Lawrence Olivier. Netflix did find White Nights with Barishnikov, but I am not hopeful for some of the others I have.
Glad to know they have White Nights...I've never seen that one. Will go right now and put on my queue.
Thanks!
I always enjoy seeing the world through you lens and learning about the places of interest through your interpretation.
Thank you very much for your lovely compliment, my friend.
I love the fact that so many of our place names/surnames use that...
Conduit Street, in London W1 is pronounced Cundit (don't ask me why). Beachaump Place, is Beecham... Cholmondleigh - pronounced Chumley, Marjoribanks - Marshbanks.. Menzies (Scottish name) pronounced Ming-is, Gilzean, prounced Gilleen.
We just LOVE to confuse foreigners!
In Australia during the days of pounds, shillings and pence we also had the farthing and haypnny. We pronounced the latter the same way as you, called the threepence piece a tray and the sixpence piece a zack. A shilling was a bob and a pound was a quid. Now we have the boringly named dollars and cents.
Our place names also can confuse foreigners. For example, Derby can be pronounced as darby or derbee, depending upon whether the town is in the eastern states or in the west. The same holds true for Albany. But there are a swag of simple enough names to pronounce like Toodyah, Wundowee, Chadora, Meekatharra ... which non-West Aussies stuff up.
Derby is English and pronounced Darby - likewise Albany, pronounced Awlbannee. Mind you, it is interesting that Launceston in Tazzie is pronounced Lawn seston - and yet in its native Cornwall is Lawn ston!
Since I'm already in the gutter, I guess I should apply for the castle job.
I wouldn't apply for that job - sweeping chimneys would be one hell of a sooty affair.
If at a castle, I could act snotty when sooty by putting on airs.
Image 8 is very comforting.
It is nice to know that the bomb squat is recycling chewing gum. Soon they'll do the same with pre-loved bubble gum.
I've had fun with the Eye and will have more fun yet before I'm through,
I loved this.
I'm pleased that you enjoyed this. Thank you very much for coming along.