Please, please criticism. I'm learning great deal from all of you and may even find my audience. HARSH CRITICISM is wanted.
Pink Platypus Patti and Water Moccasin Moc
Plati was born in Australia. She had webbed feet, a beaver tail, sensitive ducklike bill and while she was sweet to most things, she could well defend for herself. Her ankles carried a deadly venom. She had super powers and was faster than lightning, cunning and could manipulate almost anything, including trees, as were all Platypuses, be they pink or another color.
While furry and cute with long eyelashes, living in a lake, no one fooled with her, except the otters – her hated enemy. She did have a fondness for hot chicken wings. Like the otters, she eats on her back and when she’s feeding, the otters try to sneak up underneath her and cause her much grief.
Her friend was Moc, the water moccasin. Moc would warn her of the otter’s pranks, which was a bad thing for the otters. If Plati kicked them, her ankle poison would make them sick for days. But the otters loved games and this was their favorite game – seeing how much they could irritate Plati.
Moc the water moccasin
Moc’s best friend was Plati. Moc had a purple sheen to her scales, which would turn red got when she got mad. Knowing that, when she was really angry, she could badly damage an otter. She usually just climbed up on Plati’s belly and told Plati what they were up to. Moc also was very fast and would manipulate things – except the otters. The otters were too frivolous, so ready to play and create havoc, that they seemed immune to Moc’s cunning ways. They only cared about themselves, never thinking of the pain they create for others.
Double T, Platy and Moc
Double T had teleported to Australia where he landed on Plati. The otters had grown in so many numbers that they were a constant nuisance to both Plati and Moc. When Double T landed, Plati was so shocked that she submerged into the water, leaving Double T floating. Well, the otters like vegetables and spotted him immediately, arguing over who got to eat him first. Double T felt something at his leg, frightening and nibbling. Double T freaked out – this time, learning he couldn’t teleport when in the water. Poor carrot, thought Plati, so she swam to him, kicked the otter with her ankle, put her bill under the carrot and lifted him from the water. That poor otter really paid for his pranks because Plati’s ankles carried poisonous venom. A few otters helped the hurt one home, but the vast amount stayed to play. The otter was sick and couldn’t eat for days – but that’s another story.
Double T found himself on the bill of a platypus, very unnerved and very unsure of his safety. After, all, if he couldn’t teleport and was on the bill of a strange creature, what was next? Double T finally found his voice, saying "Thanks, I think." Plati said "Who the heck are you?"
"My name’s Double T - er – I named myself. I don’t think I have parents. I’m a carrot with teleportation powers – until now. I don’t know why I’m here." Now he was trembling in fear and just kept rambling on like a 6 year old, making up stories as he went. This was one carrot with a wild imagination. All this time he kept climbing up on her bill because it was wet and he kept slipping down towards the water, struggling to get back up. "Oh, I remember. I came here to bring back opals for the gardener. We all need the money they’ll fetch."
"Oh, good grief" said Moc, swimming in circles around Plati. You’re not going to find any opals here in this lake."
"I knew that – I meant I came here to uh, make peace with the otters."
Now Plati joining in "No you didn’t – you obviously are afraid of them. Tell us the truth – why are you here!?"
Plati flipped her bill and landed him on her pink, soft, furry belly, leaving Double T in a sitting position. Moc climbed up and wrapped herself around him with her head directly in front of his. Now, Double T couldn’t move much and while he was safer, he sure didn’t feel safer. Moc hissed "Sssso, why are you here?"
"OK, OK". Double T told them about Deer and Antel and how they were about to eat him.
Plati told Moc "I need to get to land. These otters have pulled so much fur out of my back that I can’t take it anymore. So, Plati back peddled to the bank with Double T and Moc on her belly. Moc said to Double T, "I’ll have to ssslither off when we hit shore and you’ll have to get off. But if you even try to go anywhere, I’ll bite you. Moc went on shore, followed by Double T, Moc keeping a close eye on him.
Plati however was slow to crawl up on the bank. She had to turn over and crawl up with her legs. Her back was bare of fur as was some of her head and there were a few small cuts where the cruel otters had bitten her. There they were, on shore by the lake in the middle of Australia. Double T saw Plati’s back, asking if she was really, really old and was going bald. "I am NOT old. I am 112 years old, which is young for a platypus and NO! I’M NOT GOING BALD. The otters have done this to me."
"Oh", not wanting to sound stupid. "I knew that."
"Yeah right" said Moc.
Moc started thinking. She knew that Plati and her had special gifts, which they were generally too lazy to use. She rather liked this stupid carrot with the red cape and silver button. Instinctively, she knew what the button was for and why it didn’t work in the water. "Double T", she said. "I know why you were transported here. The otters have multiplied in so many numbers and so quickly, that eventually they’ll run out of food, get hungry enough and will eat us. We have special powers – that’s why you’re here. Plati – we need to get out of here. Double T, tell us where you’re from."
By now, Double T had calmed down, deciding that making up stories wasn’t working and discovering he missed and was worried about Onion. He shouldn’t have been so scared and left her. He should have fought for her. But, what could he have done? It was him they wanted to eat. So, he told Moc and Plati "I live in Tyme’s garden."
Plati and Moc both said "What Tyme is it?"
"I don’t know what time it is. I’m talking about the Tyme that has the Onion".
"You’re not making sense. Tell me about Tyme."
"All I know is that Tyme has a garden, a few chickens,.."
"Ooh" interrupted Plati – "I love chicken wings."
"Excuse me? I was explaining – he has a large pond full of fish…"
"Ooh, I love fish"
"Ahem – ducks and geese, a large house, all on a property in the country, in Arizona."
"Ooh, chickens, water, fish, no otters? Are there otters?!"
"No, no otters"
How about small rodents?" asks Moc.
"Piles, and they’re a nuisance for Tyme. He curses at them all the time and they just look up at him and giggle."
"Ooh – I can take care of that", said Moc.
By now quite a few hours had passed. Plati and Moc were getting tired. "We’re going to sleep on the bank tonight, but we don’t want you to get away just yet" Moc said. Double T was in trouble, just realizing he was now a captive. "You, carrot, probably want to sleep in the ground to eat and refresh your roots."
"Good guess pinhead."
"I’d eat you for that remark – if I ate vegetables."
"Stop it you two", said Plati. "Here, I’ll dig a hole for you to climb in for tonight. Moc will surround you so you can’t escape." And so, that’s how they spent the night.
Early the next morning and even though Plati and Moc were hungry, they drug out Double T, with Moc coiling around his legs. Double T, unable to move his legs promptly sat on Moc and yawned. "He’s a pain in the snake spine, but kind of cute and I’ve rather taken a liking to him. Plati, I’ve been thinking about this and I think we can help him and he can help us."
"How so?", both Plati and Double T said at the same time, not necessarily feeling the same feelings.
"Well, Double T can teleport. You, Plati have poisonous ankles and I can maim badly when I get mad. Both of us can manipulate anything but the otters. Both of us need to get away from here. Tyme has a pond, chickens and fish and small rodents."
"Oh NO – I see where this is going. No way – no how – NO." said Double T.
Plati’s response was "Yes way, yes how and YES!. When you came here and landed on my belly, there was a reason for it. We have special gifts and you were sent here to take us back with you. And even if you weren’t, you’re going to anyway. Aaah, poor little carrot, don’t you miss your poor friend the onion? What if she’s already been eaten? What if she’s still alive and you can save her?" Plati said this in a very patronizing tone.
At that, Double T froze. He was so involved in his own woes he’d forgotten about Onion. What if she’d been eaten? What would he do? What if she was still alive? He should be there to defend her. He felt so guilty. So, he agreed and said "I don’t even know how I got here. I was so scared knowing I was about to be eaten – it just happened."
"OK, calm down. Try to remember what you were doing."
Deep breath, another deep breath. "Well, they were drooling on me and talking to Onion. I’d just wakened and heard them. Then I freaked out, jumping on top of the ground. I knew they were going to eat me and I think I was flailing, my arms to frighten them off and - poof – here I was."
"It’s the button."
Moc said "It’s the button. You were flapping your arms and hit the button."
"Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to wrap your legs around me and grab hold of Plati. You’re going to concentrate on your home in Tyme’s garden. Then, you’re going to hit the button. Double T was so ashamed of leaving Onion that concentrating on Onion in the garden was mostly all he had done all day, so that part was easy. He was dry now – maybe he could teleport. But, could he bring these two with him? He decided to try. So, he closed his eyes, pictured Onion, hit the button and – POOF – there they were in Tyme’s garden. Moc landing on Onion and Plati landing on a cantaloupe, squashing it. And, guess who was there harassing Onion? Of course, Deer and Antel.
Moc slithered off Onion, wet and sticky with Deer and Antel’s drool. Double T walked to Onion "Are you alright?" Then, remembering Deer and Antel, he turned to them and said "Hah – meet my new friends, Plati and Moc. If you don’t quit bothering us, they’ll hurt you". Plati showed them her ankles and Moc had become angry at what she saw and turned deep red, coiled and hissed, striking at them.
Both Deer and Antel flew up out of the way, staring in astonishment.
"Ok, ok – we were just having some fun. But, can’t we come visit and play – can’t we just be friends?"
"From what I heard " said Plati, "you’ve done nothing but torment these two. If you come back into THIS garden without Double T’s permission, we’ll know and we WILL hurt you.
"Okay okay okay – we’re gone". And so flew away Deer and Antel.
Double T told Plati and Moc that the pond was just beyond the barn. "Don’t even think of bothering the chickens, Plati. I don’t care how much you like chicken wings – if you want to stay here– and live – DO NOT TOUCH THE CHICKENS!"
So, Double T crawled back into his home and told Onion all about his adventures, apologizing all the time. Plati and Moc sauntered and slithered down to the pond. Oh, it was hard on Plati to leave the chickens alone, but she thought – no chicken wings were better than being eventually eaten by otters.
So, for a few years they all lived in the peace. Plati swimming on her back in the pond with Moc curled up and sunning on Plati’s belly. When Tyme discovered them, he just shook his head – now he’d seen it all (well not all – he just didn’t know it yet). Double T and Onion happily talking and Blue sleeping quietly in his cave, waiting for more travel with Tyme.