People are famous for many reasons. Sometimes itâ€™s for being noble, sometimes for bringing the funny. There are those famous for being drug-addled train wrecks (Rush Limbaugh, Iâ€™m talkinâ€™ about you) and those using their own fat ass to fart forth opinions on how fat another personâ€™s ass is, notwithstanding that said personâ€™s ass is at least 3 times smaller than his own.
But sometimes people become famous for telling the truth. When asked what her greatest claim to fame was, Kim Kardashian said, â€œIâ€™m the girl with the fat ass.â€
Now thatâ€™s fresh and funny, yet scathingly truthful. This is a woman who knows her place in the universe. People should be praising the heavens for a woman who provides both comedic relief and a chance for the average American couch potato to feel superior to someone else for once. Itâ€™s stress relieving really. Very therapeutic.
But Kim is being made to pay for being a societal relief valve â€“ Kim H8Rs have begun a petition to have her booted off television. I assume these are the same people who showed all the Muslim-lovers out there that Lowes is the devil and not the home of thrifty building materials.
Lowes, Home of Low Prices
The religious zealots sure showed what they were made of though. They boycotted a place willing to sell them building materials at very reasonable prices so they could spend more at Home Depot to build their annual Christmas manger â€“ replete with a real baby and some cows. Theyâ€™ve couldnâ€™t have sheep because they butchered them for Sunday dinner.
And the butchering wasnâ€™t halal either.
Kim is famous, or infamous, for a variety of things. Besides the big ass, she wears extension, uses too much make up, and has the biggest set of Charlies ever seen on a regular civilian. Charlies, BTW, she uses to great effect on her sex tape and inÂ the 6.2 million photos taken of her.
The Kardashian/Jenner clan has a tribal structure that makes the Mayans look like amoebas. At the top is stage mother Chris, the instigator of most of Kimâ€™s stunts. Kim listens to her Stage Babby Momma and beds any random guy she can find. She knows itâ€™s good for ratings.
Her 2 siblings come next. The cute one, Kourtney, eschews birth control to pull in the family values demographic and pumps out kids at an alarming rate â€“ to capture the pro-life crowd. And, she does it all while trying to tame her evil hubby with a name no one remembers.
Khloe, the one people claim is a pre-op transsexual, is the relatively sane one. She clops around in hooker boots with the bobs swaying to, fro, and eventually out. But, she also gives sound advice.
â€œKim stop screwing/marrying every guy you meet. Or failing that, stop video taping all of them. Itâ€™s just gross.â€
â€œKourt, kick your dumbass husband to the curb and for chrissakes, stop with the babies. The family already has astronomical therapy bills. â€
At the bottom of clan is Bruce Jenner. His place involves copious amounts of bad plastic surgery and being the consummate hanger-on to avoid having to deal with the reality of being a washed up athlete.
But really, why the boycott? Yes, they can be inane and annoying at times â€“ though I like the way mascara runs like rivers when they cry. They have that whole Tammy Faye thing going on. But whatâ€™s the harm really? Is it right to ruin the American dream for people whose only escape from reality is to watch an unreal reality show about someone who, except for the big ass, is unreal as well.
Letâ€™s NOT boycott the advertisers, who quite frankly are only indulging in free market capitalism of the type many of this boycottâ€™s demographic espouses. We must stop this unfair action against innocent advertisers. Like regulations, there are far too many boycotts against Americaâ€™s small businesses. Small businesses like Sears, QVC, both Walmart AND Target, and something named shopbop.com (which sounds like a sort of online Whack-a-Mole store). Itâ€™s socialism by Godâ€¦ socialism right here in America. Itâ€™s probably because theyâ€™re Armenianâ€¦ and we all know how close Armenians and Muslims are.
So I say itâ€™s time to counter-protest and save one of Americaâ€™s living treasures. Occupy Kim if you will.
God, I love this country.
Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!