How I Write Poems

Comments: 38

Vj McMullan Dec 18, 2011, 2:52am UTC

nice!

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Marilyn is looking for whatever there is. N. Dec 18, 2011, 3:42am UTC

Beautiful, Susan - Another form I've never heard of. I'm going to try to do one, while having yours nearby :)

Mare~

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JOHN BECK Dec 18, 2011, 7:11am UTC

You certainly show the beauty of the form in this "first attempt", Coach. I don't know what "pepples" are, so I read it as "pebbles".

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 18, 2011, 3:05pm UTC

LOL! It is supposed to be as you read it, John, pebbles.
I added it so that you'd have something to edit. ;-)

JOHN BECK Dec 18, 2011, 3:10pm UTC

So you were testing me. Do I get an "A"?

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 18, 2011, 9:31pm UTC

My beloved, dyslexic father said, A is for awful and B is for Bad, which is why he always received Ds for Dandy and Fs for Fantastic!

Poor Dad, it must have been hard to struggle with school with a learning disability, but no one to affirm or empower the learner.

John, you get an A for Awesome.

JOHN BECK Dec 18, 2011, 9:49pm UTC

That's sweet, Susan.

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 18, 2011, 11:00pm UTC

Thanks.
John, I do have a grammar question. My second line: No matter its rhyme nor beat has me wondering. Would it be better grammatically to say No matter its rhyme or beat?

JOHN BECK Dec 19, 2011, 1:02am UTC

"or" is correct.

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Chris Brockman Dec 18, 2011, 9:36am UTC

I really like "It sews my soul on my sleeve," but I find the mixing of metaphors with paper and sand to be distracting.

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 18, 2011, 3:06pm UTC

Yep, you are right, Chris. I had some reservations last night, but figured I'd leave it and revise some other time.

Chris Brockman Dec 18, 2011, 3:51pm UTC

I regret being critical in my rare comment. This is doubly so since I don't have the time or the discipline to meet the formal challenges you pose and which you, yourself, meet so well.

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 18, 2011, 9:25pm UTC

I I thank you for your "critical" comment. Let's just say I'd worked on this poem and put it out there thinking it was *done*. If no one ever said something similar to your remark, I'd *never* improve and how awful that would be!

But I knew I could improve upon this and your comment confirmed my thoughts. I appreciate them.

Chris Brockman Dec 18, 2011, 10:12pm UTC

I agree. It's just that there is a sort of ethic or protocol to commenting on a piece of writing that makes it seem presumptuous to be critical of a piece of writing, without "standing." Especially when it's critical of someone who is good at what they do.

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 18, 2011, 10:56pm UTC

I see your point, I do.

I believe I have a relationship with a few Gather poets at least (Atticus, Mustafa...to name a couple) wherein I can and do make constructive comments and they hear my remarks with the voice I intended. They can also speak freely with regard to my poems --actually, Chris, anyone truly could make pretty much any comment on my poetry-- and I do not take it personally, but apply it to their POV regarding my post.

However, not all people on Gather know me--that's an understatement--and sometimes take offense to what I've said to another Gather-writer and rush to defend him/her.

But now you know that I want to hear your reaction and consideration of my poems and if anyone takes you to task for what you've said to me, I'll come to your defense. :-)

Chris Brockman Dec 19, 2011, 9:05am UTC

I have long shied away from commenting on your work because a good part of what you're doing is utilizing a particular form. I am not qualifed to comment on that since I haven't taken the time to learn about it and execute it myself. I feel unconfortable saying over and over "nice form," though I do appreciate the difficulty in crafting a particular form and the ceative challenge of matching content to form. I shall try to do better in the future..

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 19, 2011, 10:35am UTC

:-) <---- Me, thinking about more of Chris Brockman's comments.

Granny Janny Dec 19, 2011, 1:34pm UTC

I'd like to think that we also share that same open relationship, Susan. The ultimate goal is to make our poems as good as we can. Poet friends share that intention when commenting on what "stops" them in a reading.
Thanks for the new form. My attempt is fomenting in my mind.

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 18, 2012, 4:20am UTC

I don't know why I didn't respond to this when you said it back in December!

I agree, Jan, that we can say constructive feedback on one another's poems with a common goal of improvement.

And was your attempt (above) fomenting or fermenting in your mind? ;-D

Granny Janny Apr 18, 2012, 7:05pm UTC

It's all froth by now.

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Kamran Q. Dec 18, 2011, 9:36am UTC

That's precisely what poetry should be about!

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Stacey (Jesus is coming soon-are you ready? ) U. Dec 18, 2011, 10:10am UTC

Thank you for sharing. :)

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elizabeth evans Dec 18, 2011, 10:23am UTC

Nice example of the form.

Thanks for sharing with Triple Name Club.

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Elsie Duggan Dec 18, 2011, 4:53pm UTC

I like the form Susan, and love your example, Will try to do this one, have been very remiss, because of being ill, just doing easy things, Hopefully I will be better soon, slept all day today, that should help, take care, and if I don't catch you before , Merry Christmas, love, Elsie

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Dec 18, 2011, 9:27pm UTC

Ah, gather-sister, my Mindful Poetry column is slated (by my own slate) to appear on the first of the month! So, you can see how remiss I, too, have been.

I'm sorry to hear you're ailing and wish you a steady recovery.

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Doug Westberg Dec 18, 2011, 5:06pm UTC

Lovely imagery. Thanks for sharing with Depression and Creativity!

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Janet "Jax" B. Dec 18, 2011, 5:48pm UTC

Cool...I will have to think about this a while....

Janet "Jax" B. Apr 18, 2012, 1:38am UTC

4 month later and I'm thinking about it again....oh no.

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Apr 18, 2012, 4:22am UTC

LOL. I can be that way, too. I have thought about things for five years or more!

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Mustafa Demiri Dec 18, 2011, 6:33pm UTC

I can almost see the bluebirds flying off of your sleeves and onto the beaches,
where the pebbles have turn to breadcrumbs,
Where they feed themselves as the scattered many of one collective soul.

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