It's not set in stone yet, but there is a chance I may be a guest on the Dr. PHil show! Strange circumstances in my life may soon be out there for all of America (and other places the show airs) to see.
I have known since I was about 15 that I may have a sister. During a brief time when my parents broke up before they got married my dad dated a lady who was seperated from her husband and i'm sure you can figure out what happened. This was 1965 so ti was a big secrect in the woman's family. She told her then-husband that she had a blood test and the baby girl was his. Other things about the woman have come to light, including the fact she had ANOTHER child during the marriage with someone not her husband. My "sister's" dad did not believe at the time he was her dad. He had been told he could not have kids, i'm not sure why. My "sister" had no idea her dad may not be hers. My dad died in 1987 believing she was his. He didn't want to hurt her or mess up her life.
When I first got on the internet I started looking for her and her mom, because I knew their names. I made it seem as though I was jsut searching for people who knew my dad and grandma. I wanted to find out stories of them to share with my niece and nephew which was true. My "sister's" mom could not have been more gracious to me with that. She shared some sweet memories he had of my grandma especially. She definitely did not seem upset to hear from me, or seem worried at at. I had found my "sister" on both myspace and facebook too. On facebook we'd exhanged some messages, played some games, all the while killing me that I knew she could be related to me. I have always thought it was NOT my place to be the one to tell her though. I think that should have been up to her mom. Unfortunately that never happened.
Over the summer I just decided to post a vague status update at facebook. I figured i'd do it when I knew she was online. I asked it in a poll sort of way. I said "if you knew you may have a sister, and you were connected to her here on facebook, would you tell her, or feel like me that it's not your place? I also asked if was them would they want to know? She replied FAST that she'd want to know, and gave me some great advice on how to broach the topic with the "sister" I was digesting that she replied when she actually wrote me a private message asking me if it was her! She had never considered it before, but had previously thought we looked alike. (boy do we) We exhanged countless emails and several phone calls. We decided on a DNA test to try and sort it out. Unfortunately the test was inconclusive. Her mom doesn't recall having that kinda of "relationship" with my dad, but my dad wouldn't have lied to me. He wasn't that kind of man. No matter the outcome I really like her as a person.
The problem in all this? Her dad has no idea and she deesn't want to hurt him. I totally understand that and have promised i'd never do anything to hurt her that way. She is leery about going on the Dr. Phil show, but I do know they have hidden identities before. We are hoping to know one way or another soon. I feel connected to her. She feels a connection to my dad as well, finding comfort in the idea he believed she was his until the day he died. Oh how I wish there had been home internet back then! Unfortunately my "sister" did not have the happy life growing up my dad had thought. It was a bit of a said upbringing, though she was raised mostly by her dad's mom in a loving way. That's the part that upsets her I think, that she may not be related to her. I assured her that no matter what she'd always be her grandma.
So what do you all think of this? I'm dying to know.