DIVE

For a moment I stand there on the edge,

savoring the heat of the day. The humidity

is a thick, blanketing entity

that holds me in its furry paw.

The deep breath I draw

invades my lungs like a wet, soggy wedge

Two heartbeats, then I launch into the air

In a most fantastic dive, any swan would laugh at

and I slice in with nary a splat

to wet silk flowing on my skin;

sea, where life begins,

and freedom where there's nothing I can't dare

Comments: 7

Richard Lynn Livesay Oct 22, 2011, 12:43pm UTC

strong personal poem with lots of feeling and freedom

thanks for sharing with Surreal circus

Joann B. Oct 22, 2011, 2:02pm UTC

Thank you, Richard.

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Angie O. Oct 22, 2011, 7:53pm UTC

Great imagery and pic to match. well done.

Joann B. Oct 22, 2011, 8:42pm UTC

Thanks, Angie.

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Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Oct 22, 2011, 11:05pm UTC

Joann, I'm so fond of water-themed poetry. I like this one and especially the last line about nothing you can't dare.

You've sent it to Mindful Poetry, but I'm not placing the form. Two stanzas, six lines each, a rhyme scheme of a-b-b-c-c-a.

A new form?

Susan Budig - Mindful Poet Oct 22, 2011, 11:06pm UTC

One word you used gave me pause. You said that you're drawing in a breath and then that the breath invades your lungs. To me, you've invited the oxygen in with the drawing of breath and so it doesn't follow that the breath then "invades" you.

Just a thought...

Joann B. Oct 23, 2011, 1:12am UTC

I don't know if it's a new form. This is part of my learning curve; discovering whether some of the odd sequences I put together are viable. I used to put a lot of those together by writing a long line with some intended rhymes tossed in, sort of randomly. Then I separate them into six lines by the rhyme scheme. Whatever the meter, I repeat in the second stanza. Would that be considered a form?

The breath was invited; the heavy wetness was not. I heartily dislike humidity.I must take after my grandmother, who was in the Polar Bear Club - swimming in Long Island Sound in January.

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