Irene is almost here! Just in case you haven't begun assembling your hurricane kit, here are some tips on what to include:
1) 8,000 plastic bags and 95 rolls of paper towels.
2) Your kids -- maybe. It's up to you.
3) Copy of The Perfect Storm for info on proper drowning techniques.
4) A milk goat.
5) Auntie Em (in case Irene spawns tornadoes.)
6) FMP's - You don't want to be blown into downtown NYC in the wrong shoes.
7) Small still, potatoes, olives, funnel, ice.
8) All the cigarettes in the world, plus a flint & steel.
9) A very witty companion. (I'm available, but only if you know how to work the still.)
10 Waterproof Snugglie in tasteful Tropical Storm Satellite Imagery print.
11) Large black umbrella and Dick Van Dyke, (this should cover #9, above.)
12) Extra-Extra-Extra-Hold hairspray.
13) CB radio and trucker to operate it.
14) Duct tape for when you can't stand to hear "Breaker! Breaker" ever again.
15) All the chocolate produced in Switzerland in the last decade.
16) Coke Zero in handy 10 gallon pass-around jug.
17) Velcro and baling wire. Why? Because you can fix anything with duct tape, velcro and baling wire.
18) Gourmet trail mix.
19) A gourmet to eat the trail mix.
20) Your pets. In plastic bags.
20) Clothing that makes you look really, really good when soaked to the skin. Cheap tee shirts are a fave.
21) Compass, map and directions to Gather Island.
22) A fondue pot.
Addendum: All of PJ's novels, in waterproof covers. How could I forget?