jokes

Lawyers on a Plane

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

An Inscription Problem

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.

The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated, "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:

"Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible."

Ponderings for Idle Moments

- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

- Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

- How come abbreviated is such a long word?

- If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

- Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

- Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

- Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

- If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

- When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

- Do fish get cramps after eating?