POLITICAL PARODY
Thursday on CNN’s web site the Talk Back segment asks the aforementioned question. According to the Heritage Foundation’s Robert Rector, who apparently believes it depends on what the definition of poor is.’ “The most recent government data show that more than half of the families defined as poor by the Census Bureau have a computer in the home. More than three of every four poor families have air conditioning, almost two-thirds have cable or satellite television, and 92% have microwaves. …”
Well, thank God for CNN and Robert Rector. The whole world has been struggling for 3 years to find a scapegoat, er, a… ‘the root causality‘… mmm, yeah that sounds pretty brainy and technical, for the economic downturn with no end in sight we’ve been experiencing for the last bah, blah, blah, blather, blather, blather and so on and so forth and whatever.
But!!! Thanks to CNN and Mr. Rector we now know what must be done. That’s right, first on the agenda… no more computers for poor people. Personally, I’d like to know how in the hell did poor people get their hands on a computer. Aren’t those gadgets supposed to be priced beyond the means of poor people? What gives here anyway? The only conclusion to be made is that it must be part of a Communist conspiracy to undermine the American way.
Then it will be necessary to form a government agency charged with getting air conditioners out of the hands of poor people. It will be called the ACEA, Air Conditioner Enforcement Agency. And since this agency will be kicking the doors of poor people down anyways, they will be charged with removing any contraband cable or satellite TV receivers as well.
But our biggest challenge will be the tracking down and disposal of the more than 40 million microwave ovens estimated to be in the hands of poor people. One can only imagine what they are doing or planning on doing with these devices. Experts believe the only way to address the problem will be the formation of a second government agency separate from the ACEA. And by experts, I mean a group of fictitious persons that exist in my imagination. This agency will be known as the Bureau of Microwave Ovens and because of the vast nature of it’s mission will require an annual budget of 6 hundred mmflnillion dollars.
Of course this effort will require congress to put all our other problems on ignore for the next several years. And it will require significant uh,… revenue enhancements’ from the uh,… job creators’, but in the end it will be more than worth it. Once the poor have been put back into their place. Er, I mean… re-educated to the idea that frivolous luxuries like a used POS window mounted air conditioner for an 88 year old woman living in Atlanta is just not very patriotic, we can be sure that a full economic recovery will ensue.

















Comments: 82
Thank goodness our rich are so tolerant. If it weren't for them we would have even higher unemployment and higher taxes and a huge national debt.
Or have I been misinformed?
Well clearly we need to force the poor to spend more of that money they don't have. How about cutting off all services to the poor like public education and preventive health care and police protection. That should force them to increase spending by paying for their own education, their own health care, and their own police.
I yielded to the sarcasm temptation. :-( Serves me right.
What I find interesting is that conservatives never mention how much money pours into the black hole of defense and the costs of endless wars such as Iraq and Afghanistan. I read recently that the defense department cancelled a contract for navy ships that would carry fuel or cargo after spending about $300 million on the project. I read in another article that corruption in the civilian run Defense Department (about 700,000 employees) costs the US taxpayer about $135 billion a year.
Conservatives believe that as long as they can create scapegaots such as labor unions, public school teachers and now the poor, most registered Republicans will never notice what's going on over at defense.
The truth is, that the whole military thing is the biggest problem, it sucks up the money that could be used to invest in and perfect our democratic system, and to harness capitalism in the real way, not just as a facade to justify empire.
If the rest of the world saw our system, or any system, working for the people, and fair, and open, and honest, they would overthrow their leaders in a heartbeat to join it and support it.
The truth is that we are just like every other ruled by force country now, except perhaps for a very few at the top, most of the rest of us are locked-in by America's brand, and fooled into not taking a very close look at things or comparing them to what our rights and our goals are supposed to be.
As a "poor" person I will admit we do have computers...but we do not have TV (cable or satellite)...we do not have any cell phones (both things people are often shocked to find out about us as a family, especially with two teenage girls)...I have to admit to having a microwave...
I have to admit there are people out there not willing to give up certain things (like TV or cell phones) in order to make ends meet they find other ways...but I doubt it is having a negative effect on the economy...
so...how much do the people that were discussing this make?
ooo...and the microwave one is shocking, they sell some pretty cheap ones these days...less than most people spend for a month of TV or cell phone...hmmm...
I am afraid, Joe, that Katryn income has to be compared to the minimu living standard in HER area even if she pays taxes. However, I disgree with your wording about "sponge off": even not paying taxes she would still be productive.
I would love to see people that are insistent on keeping luxuries like TV and cell phones live off of what I make as well as pay all their bills on time (mortgage, electric, house phone, car insurance, trash pick-up) we have no water bill since it is well...we have no credit cards...we are both still paying student loans and our eldest daughter is starting college this year...at 15 years of age...
Yes, I think the word frivolous for TV and cell phone is the correct choice of word
Maybe you meant that who should not pay taxes are the most wealthy people.(?)
The problem with conservatives and conservatism, as it is now seen, is that they use these problems as an excuse to take over power and ram a virtual police state down all of our throats, when what they really ought to be doing is using their supposed brains, experience and expertise designing systems that work and that get people our of poverty by creating a ladder up ... that is low expectations to begin with, but a path to productivity and self-reliance.
We do not help these people, or our own middle class by lumping them all together and catering to them with things like fast food, cigarettes, etc.
That said, what conservatives do, conservatives who say they are so concerned with incentives to make people productive and allow them to risk on business ... they do not give incentives other than the avoidance of death by hunger and neglect to the poor. This is a major mistake conservatives make, they will never fix the problem with way, you never solve anything with negative feedback, you just make people passive or angry.
Yeah, but what do you base that on ... personal experience, hearsay, good journalism or right-wing media hype? I remember Reagan campaigning against welfare queens in their Cadillacs. There is fraud in everything ... probably much more fraud and abuse in the military than anywhere else, and that also causes the most damage.
We really need much more focus on controlling the abuses of the rich ... but first we have to define them clearly.
I wish there was a way to hold people more accountable in the system...ways to close loop holes that they all seem to know about and teach to their children...I do not have a clue how myself since I do not know enough about it, I just see the abuse and wish there was a way to make sure that those that need help get it but no one makes a living out of it.
"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime."
But those poor people who dare to try to find jobs, who often are just beggars, who keep drinking our water, eating only when someone provide them a coin - when they could spend it for drinking anything else than our waters, I cannot understand why this people are poors: after all they don't spend any energy working!
CNN was right asking the question, I heard the latest Republican debate: pitiful!
I also see what these people wear, what they drive, and the fact that they all seem to have the latest luxuries...and I wonder just why they are getting food stamps...
To be what we are or what we would like to be and try to show.
Not having the means doesn't mean that one is not intelligent at all. Many more dumbs than expected have there most modern items trying to show themselves as "no-dumbs"!
Kepp on, I am sure your daughters are much more proud about you than what even you can imagine.
I BEG PARDON TO YOU FOR SUCH TYPING ERROR.
At the least it has disclosed to me that there was people intelligent enough as to understand what I meant. Thanks for doing so: it is always good to see that intelligent people can correct dumbs and still understand what they mean.
Somehow we expect people who are on welfare or need assistance not to be real people, they are supposed to sit around eating beans or something and spending 100% of their time looking for work ... essentially we expect their lives to be a punishment until they do what we want them to do ... and everyone knows that this is not fair and not going to work.
We talk about the entitlement mentality, but the biggest entitlement mentality on the planet is might makes right, and America does it as a country all over the world, and we do it with people.
I think I need to remind people that we are all born onto this planet, we all evolved here, or were put here by a creator, and that creator never said anything about a bunch of strong people getting together to keep food, shelter from the weak, the lazy, those of a certain color, those who had the wrong parents, etc. We all have a right to exist on this planet, and that has somehow been changed so now we think that the weakest people should just die if they don't fit into our machine just right - and sometimes even if they do but do not have the power to demand decent wages and benefits.
Thousands of US corporations took advantage of a loop hole and moved their corporate offices to other countries that charge lower taxes or no taxes and those corporations pay no taxes in the US. Saw it on 60 Minutes. One town in Switzerland has like 20,000 or more US companies represented there while the companies still do most of their business in the US where they earn most of their money.
I forgot. President Reagan didn't pay any taxes one year on millions in earnings. When the media asked, he said it was all legal and that he just took advantage of loop holes that anyone can use. I remember watching that one on the news. He was till in the White House at the time.
1) Exxon Mobil made $19 billion in profits in 2009. Exxon not only paid no federal income taxes, it actually received a $156 million rebate from the IRS, according to its SEC filings.
2) Bank of America received a $1.9 billion tax refund from the IRS last year, although it made $4.4 billion in profits and received a bailout from the Federal Reserve and the Treasury Department of nearly $1 trillion.
3) Over the past five years, while General Electric made $26 billion in profits in the United States, it received a $4.1 billion refund from the IRS.
4) Chevron received a $19 million refund from the IRS last year after it made $10 billion in profits in 2009.
5) Boeing, which received a $30 billion contract from the Pentagon to build 179 airborne tankers, got a $124 million refund from the IRS last year.
6) Valero Energy, the 25th largest company in America with $68 billion in sales last year received a $157 million tax refund check from the IRS and, over the past three years, it received a $134 million tax break from the oil and gas manufacturing tax deduction.
7) Goldman Sachs in 2008 only paid 1.1 percent of its income in taxes even though it earned a profit of $2.3 billion and received an almost $800 billion from the Federal Reserve and U.S. Treasury Department.
8) Citigroup last year made more than $4 billion in profits but paid no federal income taxes. It received a $2.5 trillion bailout from the Federal Reserve and U.S. Treasury.
9) ConocoPhillips, the fifth largest oil company in the United States, made $16 billion in profits from 2007 through 2009, but received $451 million in tax breaks through the oil and gas manufacturing deduction.
10) Over the past five years, Carnival Cruise Lines made more than $11 billion in profits, but its federal income tax rate during those years was just 1.1 percent.
"Recycled computers for the underprivileged" and similar organizations are one way to get computers. And, as part of the NBC / Comcast deal, Comcast will be qualifying families for $10 / month broadband with an inexpensive laptop. No kid can expect to get a job out of school, or get into a college, without having used a computer ... and it is almost impossible to get many other jobs without at least some experience.
Air conditioners are given free to those who cannot afford them in many parts of the country as it is less expensive than treating heat stroke in public hospitals.
I wonder if the 2/3rds number for cable TV is for apartments or homes wired with it rather than people with an actual subscription. It is, for better or worse, one of the cheaper entertainments if you have one of the minimal plans and an old, small set (after all, the government gave out the converter boxes).
My microwave is 20 years old -- how about yours?
Now ... how does this qualify someone to be a patsy for the economic problems?
I don't think our microwave is that old, but I have also seen them for sale really cheap...usually less than the price of one month of TV, even on a basic plan...
We do not have AC...but we live in PA so we survive...
It would help put your argument in better context.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424053111903999904576470112855270074.html?mod=googlenews_wsj
Geez Winston, don't you know how to Google?
And, why shouldn't they??? Being poor in the millennium is a lot different then being poor in the 40's & 50's. Some of you folks should just take a ride thru the slums one day...
this is SUPPOSE to be the 21st Century not 1910 . . . hello!
Actually it's worse. It used to be that most people lived on farms, in fact this is the first year in American history that more people live in cities that live in the country. So, people used to be able to find things to do ... now every business is run by MBAs out of some other country and they are paid millions to suck jobs out of the economy to make people seem more productive.
As for computers, it's possible to buy a new computer for less than $300 that allows you to log onto the Internet and some hosts do not charge that much.
I have a friend that finds all the bargains and he pays about $10 a month to log onto the Internet with his old, used computer (that he bought for about $50 used). He was a technician in the military so if it breaks, he fixes it himself. Real tight wad.
Have you ever noticed the extreme wealthiest of Americans DEMAND NO TAX but have no qualms taxing the backs of the working class?
This article riles the souls . . .
The tea party wants the poor to pay more in taxes in order to fund the tax breaks for billionaires.
Can't wait to see the campaign commercials with that line on it.
Reminds me of when the rich southern slave owners saying that slavery was good for the slaves.
They will invent a new word for it.
Dishonesty comes to mind. Hypocrisy jumps up as well. I'm sure there are a few more choice words out there that are applicable.
The baggers refuse to do that because their heads are so far up the a**** of the rich.
This is exactly like the fact that women are the ones at fault when they are raped. Just ask any sleazy defense lawyer. Who would know better?
Keep up the good job of getting the word out Devin. If we don't stop this, before we know it the poor will own Washington.
Great post. Thank you for sharing. Have a wonderful weekend!