by *Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y.
Member since:
January 16, 2007

Help with teen

July 28, 2011 04:00 PM UTC
views: 0 | 1 person recommends this | comments: 21

My teenage daughter is a doll, but has lied a lot. She is adopted and has had trouble with lying most of her life. Lately, she has been good and no problems, but today, her work called to tell me she didn't show up. They knew I dropped her off at 11:00, and they say they saw her walking downtown with a boy. It is 108 degrees out, and I was worried sick. I drove around for a few minute hoping to find her, but decided I needed help.

I went to the police. She called shortly after that and said she was a work the whole time, and they lied. I want to believe her, but I am afraid with her history of lying that she is lying again.

I have a call into the police who have a video of her office because she works near the police station. Any ideas? Help!

Comments: 21

Katryn D. Jul 28, 2011, 4:04pm UTC
I hate to say it but sometimes it may be best to let things happen and let the consequences of her actions catch up to her. Just keep making sure she is safe in the process and that she is aware you are there for her...and it may take a while but sometimes the consequences that occur from such behaviors have more impact than anything parents can do...

not sure that's really much help...
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Jul 28, 2011, 4:25pm UTC
Thanks for trying.
Stephannie H. Jul 28, 2011, 4:13pm UTC
Sounds like my daughter... they just won't listen and continue to lie. She is 19 and doesn't want to change her ways even though she moved out.
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Jul 28, 2011, 4:25pm UTC
Sorry to hear that Stepannie. I wouldn't wish this on a soul. We really have tried it all. She even went to couselling, but other than this they say she is great. I am beside myself.
Larry H. Jul 28, 2011, 5:35pm UTC
don't know what to tell you. Teens can drive you mad at times.
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Jul 28, 2011, 7:58pm UTC
Larry,
I've been on that road trip awhile now.
Angela A. Jul 28, 2011, 6:01pm UTC
Have you considered that she may just be a compulsive liar? And, therapy may be the only thing that makes her realize that.
How old is she by the way?
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Jul 28, 2011, 7:59pm UTC
She is sixteen going on three. We've been to several therapists, but not for lying. I may give that a go again. Thanks.
Angela A. Jul 29, 2011, 10:46am UTC
Her behavior just reminded me of a show I watched the other day. This guy was a compulsive liar. And, he just couldn't help it. So, that is something to look into.
You're welcome
Tessa D. Jul 28, 2011, 6:42pm UTC
all I can offer is prayers
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Jul 28, 2011, 8:00pm UTC
I'll take prayers any day.
Tessa D. Jul 28, 2011, 11:49pm UTC
purr
Jean R B. Jul 28, 2011, 7:21pm UTC
She needs a psychology therapist. They are expensive. They have to dig out why she is lying and may not be able to cure her for years.
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Jul 28, 2011, 8:01pm UTC
I know why she lies. She came to me as an abused child. She lived a horrible life up until 5 years old. Now, she likes to roam the streets, and she is a beauty. She is in danger, and there appears to be little help.
Debbie W. Jul 28, 2011, 7:29pm UTC
I have a niece who was this way. She lied about everything (she is adopted and very jealous of the biological sister). She never got over it and continued to lie into her 30s. (The only reason she doesn't lie now is that she went into a diabetic coma and came out of it with brain damage.)
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Jul 28, 2011, 8:01pm UTC
OMG!
Nancy S. Jul 28, 2011, 7:40pm UTC
Carol I don't think it has anything to do with her being adopted. All or at least most teens lie some of the time. It goes with the age. I've had problems with a couple of my kids and now some of the grands. It took a lot of talks about why I have to be able to trust them before they finally did better. Most don't lie to me anymore but they still, on occasion, lie to their parents. Trouble is I've still got little ones coming up and I know I'll have to go through it again. I really understand your frustration. God bless.
*Carol ~Bronx Southern Belle Y. Jul 28, 2011, 8:02pm UTC
God bless you, Nancy.
Janet "Jax" B. Jul 28, 2011, 9:36pm UTC
I don't know. My son hasn't been able to find a summer job (and I didn't think he would due to his medical condition), so he's been home. I honestly haven't had many problems with either of my teens.
Pamela Marks Jul 28, 2011, 10:06pm UTC
Depending on her age you might be able to ask the Manager or person in charge to verify that she had been working and someone had told you otherwise. If not good luck, most jobs because of Hippa won't even talk to the parents once the child gets a job, not even if they are taking advantage of the child. the child has to do the leg work. Good luck
Marsha C. Jul 29, 2011, 9:46am UTC
I can't see why her workplace would lie...unless it's a co-worker that doesn't like her or something.
The best to you in the situation.

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