One of the things that concerns many of the folks who believe that Barack Obama is ineligible to serve as president because of his citizenship status is his missing past. In an online discussion the other day one of the comments began with "Ever wondered why no one ever came forward from Obama's past saying they knew him, attended school with him, was his friend, etc. Not one person has ever come forward from his past."
Those of you who've read Larry Beinhart's American Hero or seen Wag the Dog, the movie based on the novel, are prepared for this. Barack Obama is a fictional character. He may not be the first fictional character to occupy high national office. Presidents John Tyler and Rutherford B. Hayes are believed by many historians to have existed only on paper and as cardboard cutouts. Dr. Jerome H. Dean, in his seminal work American Fantasy, commented "Tyler and Hayes are examples of the tremendous heights American lithography reached in the nineteenth century." In modern politics Dan Quayle, Jesse Helms, Walter Mondale, and Al Sharpton are probably fictional.
Obama doesn't need lithography. Recent advances in holography have made the projection of remarkable three dimensional images possible. According to Dr. Grizbor Tznucq, DDS, JD, DVM, Obama is the work of a secret cabal composed of a coalition of Knights Templar, Jewish International Bankers, the vestiges of the Communist International, a secret pan-Islamic society that has no name, and a Maltese organization that masquerades as a Rotary Club chapter. The goal of this sinister coalition, according to Dr. Tznucq, is to create a world government where citizens are not allowed to have guns, abortion and same sex marriage are mandatory, prayer is restricted to private property, and medical care is provided in inverse proportion to means, i. e. the richer you are the less medical care you get. Businesses that sell tobacco or alcoholic beverages will be required to sell recreational pharmaceuticals of other types including marijuana, opiates, amphetamines, coca derivatives, and psychedelics.
Dr. Tznucq says that Obama came about in 1961 as part of a project by the group to create world leaders. Early failed experiments by the group included Idi Amin and Walter Mondale. Neither managed to strike the right balance between naughty and nice. Conspiracy theorists in the US have managed to uncover a lot of information on Obama without making the big picture (or hologram) connection. Dr. Tznuq theorizes "These people are indefatigable researchers but are too sensitive about reality. They may be able to conceive of the moon landing as a hoax, but can't quite make the leap to an American president being existence challenged."
The big question for Americans is: Does it matter that the president doesn't really exist? Come to think of it, does it matter whether or not anyone exists?