Poor Justin Bieber. The teen dream finds his way into so many weird hoaxes and false reports that his head must sometimes spin like Linda Blair's in The Exorcist. The latest bizarre rumor has it that JB's girlfriend, Monte Carlo star Selena Gomez is "green with envy" over her man's interest in royal sister-in-law, Pippa Middleton. Well, lots of men of all ages fantasize about Pippa Middleton, but most of them haven't recently signed a million dollar deal to work on a project with her family's company Party Pieces. Justin Bieber has. And Selena Gomez, is, reportedly, livid.
Yes, according to Star Magazine, Justin Bieber is crushing hard on Pippa Middleton, and that's why he was so eager to help create his own special Party Pieces line. But the teen idol has "conflicted feelings" about it. What about Selena Gomez? For the time being she's still hanging in:
"Selena is hoping she still has what it takes to keep Justin interested," tattled a "Justin pal."
Good grief. This story is patently ridiculous. As the folks at Rumor Fix have pointed out, Pippa Middleton is a nice looking girl with a very attractive, athletically toned body, but she's "hardly one of the most gorgeous... young women in the world." Of course, she may head the list of the "most sought after" simply because of her royal family ties. Be that as it may, there are other aspects of this "report" that simply reverberate with untrue lies. Although the legal age of sexual consent in England is 16, the 17-year-old Justin Bieber hooking up with 27-year-old Pippa Middleton seems highly unlikely at best. The Biebs has often admitted that he once had a super crush on Cheryl Cole but realized it was neither possible nor appropriate because of their age difference. Last, but not least, Justin Bieber is a pop superstar, not a prince, or even a member of British--or any other--nobility. Women like Pippa Middleton romance upwards, not downwards. While, Pippa may have a case of mild Bieber fever, she would never let it go any further than admiration for the teen idol's music. Seriously now, didn't she dump her "footballer" ex-boyfriend to run off to Spain with an earlier ex-beau who was the son of a duke? One simply doesn't go from dukes to Baby singers, no matter how much they say Never Say Never.
Oh well, the bottom line is that this madness has apparently been circulated widely enough online to cause Selena Gomez's publicist, British Reece, to issue a statement that it is "not true."
Shucks. And just when we were getting all revved up for another "almost" royal wedding.
Â© Hope Carson 2011
Hope Carson is the author of 2 books: A Roaring Girl: An Interview with the Thinking Man's Hooker and A Thousand and One Night Stands: The Life of Jon Vincent. You can follow her on Twitter.