Reviewing the Men Behind the Women ~ The Husbands of 'The Real Housewives of Orange County'

Having written about the various housewives franchises before, I understand the appeal of the shows.  It is a winning formula of semi-glamorous women with money, drama, and lives that are relatable.  Sure these women might have a little more money than the average American (I write this knowing full well that a good chunk of these gals are living well beyond their means) and perhaps crave more attention than most, but when you get down to brass tacks they are wives, mothers, and friends…and despite our humble non-documented lives, we in the audience often see ourselves in them. 

 

               Amongst their sorority are would be entrepreneurs, postpartum depression survivors, table flippers, ex strippers, Christians, Hollywood players, former countesses and other odd assortments.  Bravo stumbled upon a winning formula, which was semi-based on the ABC drama ‘Desperate Housewives’, the franchises (rooted in various U.S. cities) have far surpassed the original inspiration at least from a pop culture perspective.  Although the show has the word ‘Housewives’ in the title, not all of the women on the shows are married.  Part of the genius of the producers is that many of these reality stars are influx when they join the show.  Further, the various incarnations have progressed to the point that some of the women have had to face their failing marriages even when they had boosted the perfection of it all. 

 

                One of the things I like about the show is that I can now readily identify the househusbands who demonstrate traits that I would like in my own personal relationships.  Not all of the men are pretty, although being a tad bit handsome never hurts, but there is a way that some of these men interact, along with the women, that you know the couple really do have a marriage based on mutual respect and dare I write equality (even though both partners might not be equal in the sense of finances – an important consideration should their union fail).  Then there are the other marriages, the ones that you can almost set your watch to, that are seconds away from imploding. 

 

                The first show of the franchise is ‘The Real Housewives of Orange County’.  When it debuted all of the women lived in Coto de Caza, Californiawithin a gated community of houses often referred to as McMansions.   Only one woman remains from the 2006 first season; Vicki Gunvalson. 

 

              Vicki was initially married at the tender age of 21 in her native state of Illinois.  Her first hubby is the father of her two children; Michael and Briana.  She reported to a magazine that the marriage failed because of verbal abuse by her then husband, his alcoholism, and his numerous affairs of which he claims he is innocent of all charges.  Vicki’s current husband, of whom she has recently filed for divorce from, is Donn Gunvalson.  They have been married since 1994 and frankly, judging only by what is shown on TV, Donn deserved some sort of medal for staying in the marriage as long as he did.  I don’t know which one filed the papers, but I know that I would rather make chit chat with Donn any day of the week over Vicki.

 

                  Last season Vicki made a big deal about renewing her vows with Donn.  She surprised him with a trip to the Turks and Caicos Islands where she sprang the renewing ceremony on him.  This was after she had stated during the fourth season something on the level that he no longer filled her love tank.  Instead of running Donn seemed touched by the ceremony and happily reaffirmed his commitment to his wife.  She made promises of working less and focusing more on their relationship, however for anyone who has seen any episodes from this season; that didn’t happen. 

 

                 Despite the divorce, I think Donn is a solid guy who hung in a marriage with a woman that can best be described as challenging and who never successful conquered the urge to control everything around nor did she  attempt to wrap her mind around the concept of consideration for the feelings of others. 

 

                 Tamra Barney is perhaps my favorite housewife of the ‘OC’.  She, like her bestie Vicki, was also married young.  During one of the earlier seasons she explained that being pregnant with her first son was the reason she wed so young.  However she was on her second marriage, and second family, when she joined the ‘Housewives’ during the third season.  I have to admit that her then husband, Simon Barney, didn’t really come off as a bad sort.  He was definitely stiff in comparison with his wife (Tamra seemed very much a free spirit along with being a bit of a bubblehead) and there was friction between him and her eldest son (who had his own set of issues) but overall Simon wasn’t nearly as bad as he came off in the following seasons. 

 

               When the economy started to tank the audience witnessed what happens to families when the illusion of wealth is no more.  Everything that was frivolous and fun a year before was now tainted with the color of regret.  What good is lavish jewelry if you can’t make the house payment?  Simon morphed into a controlling ugly husband.  He rarely allowed an opportunity to pass to belittle his wife.  Once he made her talk about the etiquette lessons she was taking at a dinner party they were hosting as if she was a five year old rambling about what happened in kindergarten that day.  Simon started to ride her about her friendships particularly with Vicki because he thought Vicki was too bossy.  At the heart of the matter though, most of the audience got that it wasn’t really about Vicki being bossy but the fact that despite her faults, Vicki is very independent and didn’t need a man to hold her hand over every decision.  Overall, Simon turned out to be an ass and at times it was difficult to watch scenes he was in because it was apparent he needed therapy. 

 

                 This season Tamera has moved on and has a new man in her life.  Thus far her new boyfriend has come off as supportive so time will tell if there will be wedding bells heard during season 7.

 

                 Gretchen Rossi has had two major relationships since joining the cast in season 4.  She was engaged to a man who was twenty-four years her senior that at the time of filming was very sick leukemia (he later died).  Because she was viewed by some of the women as a gold digger, she has had adversarial relationships with some of the cast.  Her second major relationship is with Slade Smiley whose presence on the show predates Gretchen’s because of his previous involvement with two of the other housewives.  What is most interesting about Smiley’s relationship with Gretchen is that in his previous relationship on the show (I believe the other romance was off camera) he was a man of wealth and power; now he has lost everything and lives with Gretchen as if…dare I write it…a kept man.  However I think the biggest strike against Smiley is that he has been taken to court for not paying his child support – one of his son’s has brain cancer as well.  It’s really hard to feel happy for him in his love life knowing that his time with his son may be limited while he is conniving ways to help his girlfriend pursue a makeup and purse line.   Part of the storyline the past two seasons is him trying to convince Gretchen to take their relationship up a notch toward marriage.  She rightfully is concerned about his financial status and doesn’t know if she wants to take on his debts or future debts with the expense of an ill child (although her wording about these concerns leaves a lot to be desired it is a legitimate consideration). 

 

                   I think Smiley is sincere in his love for Gretchen.  In my book he has proven himself supportive in this relationship and others.  My thoughts are that if he is part of the cast than perhaps more needs to be included about his son.  Once again, these shows are popular because they are relatable.  People with severely ill children exist and I think it would be beneficial to see a divorced man with limited income coping with the situation.  

 

                   Alexis Bellino debuted on the fifth season and made her mark primarily by wearing her Christianity on her sleeve.  I’m not going to cast aspersions at Christians as a whole, but I think it is a huge miscalculation for Alexis to talk about God, Jesus and the Bible while she provides such a poor demonstration of exercising her faith.  At one point she mumbled something about God being okay with her getting breast augmentation surgery because God wants us to look good.  Her introductory catch phrase for this season is “God is my savoir, my husband is my king, and my body, it’s sinful.”  Listen, quaint Christian sayings go down much better if the person speaking them is invested in helping humanity.  They come off as nails down a chalkboard when an individual’s major investment is hair, nails, keeping her booty bouncy.  Honestly, I don’t begrudge parents the use of nannies, I begrudge these parents when they act as if the whirlwind of parenting with the help of nannies is so overwhelming that they barely have time for their four hour gym workouts and pedicures and THEN top off the sentiment by adding that Jesus loves them and will give them strength to see it through.

 

                This past May Alexis revealed that she suffers from anorexia.  There are several direction I could take this, but I’m just going to leave it as is.          

 

               Bellino’s second husband is Jim who is as horrible as she is.  Unlike Tamra’s ex husband Simon, Jim came out of the gate being a retched excuse for a husband.  This man could be worth billions (he’s not, the family is rumored to be in financial straits) but nothing about him would tempt me.  He is by far the ugliest physically of the househusbands and suffice to say that his overall attitude doesn’t help matters.  He is the worst example of husband material; a controlling, sexist, fat, and intellectually stifling individual who offers his wife material things but not before he spends gobs of money on himself.  Last season he made a big deal about Alexis traveling around the country with the girls (and may I mention a camera crew and segment producers).  When Jim did travel with her he would make comments about her clothes.  This season she has developed a clothing line (I think he is backing it financially) and he tried to direct the photo shoot (it starred Alexis, of course) and proved to be just an overall black void.  Frankly, the behavior of both of them proves that they deserve each other. 

 

               In summary, he is the sort of father that has never changed a diaper and brags about it.

 

               Peggy Tanous is the new housewife on the block and I don’t know that much about her or her husband except he comes off as a metrosexual. 

 

              Fernanda Rocha is a lesbian.  She is listed as having a recurring role this season, but in some of the early publicity shots she was given full credit.  Since she isn’t attached to a man for obvious reasons there is little I can write.  She is beautiful and I do hope that Bravo keeps her because I think Orange County probably needs some variation with its women. 

 

              Past housewives include Jeana Keough who has had a recurring role in the series since leaving.  This season she is enwrapped with Tamra and Simon drama after Simon was thrown in the pokey for behaving badly toward Tamra.  Apparently Jeana went to some news sources and blabbed about how Simon wasn’t an abusive husband as if she would know since her marriage appeared to be one of the most abusive relationships every witnessed on reality television.  She is currently legally separated (second husband of course) from her husband who seemed to be a severe alcoholic that she enabled for years by making excuses that he was out on business when most of the time it seems as if he was hiding in her house.  If the situation only affected her and her husband that would have been their business, however they had three children and when it came to at least her oldest son it seemed like he was a chip off the old block. 

 

               Shane Keough was a minor league baseball player when his mother visited him.  The way he verbally abused her one would have thought that he didn’t know that it was all being taped to show on TV later.  It was a sad indictment about how children learn from what they see their parents do. 

 

                 I was originally going to include all of the husbands from a variety of franchises (I’m skipping Washington D.C. and Miami because I didn’t watch those shows as well as most of the Bravo audience).  Depending on time, I plan to do at least New York and Beverly Hills.

 

Westerfield © 2011