I heard the rustling, whistling of their wings moments before I saw them. It sounded like the flutter of many heartbeats, comforting and surrounding me. I looked up to the sky and saw them in flight - mourning doves - dozens of them - unable to identify the male from the female, I wondered where they were heading. It is Spring and they are migrating. Was something alarming them? Or would I see the "dance" of courtship? Which female would receive the attention and cooOOoo-woo-woo-woooo? Who was already mated?
To feed, they had to touch ground, but here I was on the Brooklyn Bridge and there they were. Perhaps they were seeking the overhead wires to perch upon for a bit. Their song could be carried in the air, across the river, echoing against the high rise buildings.
All of these thoughts and images have come to mind, two days in a row, after nights of furious and frightening dreams. It is as if these birds arrive, the second I wake, to chase the sharp images back into the night. My Love is no where near to comfort and hold me when I toss and turn. I cannot turn to him, in the middle of the night, to taste his life or hear his heartbeat against my skin. I am alone and fearful.
Usually my horrible dreams portend unhappy future events beyond my own life or my control. Or so the pattern of my sleep has been for years now. I am left fretful and uneasy during the day until what eventually unfolds, unfolds. I wait, knowing something is going to happen, wondering what will be. It is a strange psychic ability to have - I only sense disaster and I am not given the gift to give warning to anyone. And so the news reached me this morning; a dear friend suffered a heart attack. My thoughts have been with him ever since.
Are the doves a sign of peace and hopefulness? Why mourning doves and not the more common city bird, the pigeon? What seeds are being planted in my mind? Is this why I was determined to cross the Brooklyn Bridge by foot, yesterday? Yet, not a bird was to be found in this reality.
This psychic ability is an elusive burden shrouded in a mystery I have yet to unravel. What matters now, however, is that my friend, and his Love, suffer no more and that he heals quickly and thoroughly.