My Castle, My Home ~ Tritina for Mindful Poetry April 19

Okay, this is four challenges in one, John. Well done!

Thank you, Kimberly. They seemed to fit nicely.

Hmm, I wonder what WWE will bring...

Hey, I'm doing well to keep up with Mindful Poetry this month.

Yes, John, but you also met many other challenges with this poem. That's what I've been trying to do as well. :)

I've noticed!

This is a magical tritina. Like a love poem for the concept of home.

Thank you for taking on today's challenge at the Mindful Poetry Contest. Your tritina is featured.

Thank you kindly, Coach.

A beautifully wistful poem with such an enchanting theme.

Thank you, Mustafa.

Beautifully written John, I believe home is where your heart is,

Thank you, Elsie.

John, the competition was stiff tonight. I struggled to choose. I find yours most classically poetic, love the line-length, and the segue from second to third stanza mmmm. Yes.
You worked for this:

Thank you kindly for the POD designation, Susan. I am indeed honored.

No wonder Susan chose this beautiful, wishful longing for a place called "home". Congratulations.

Thank you, Bob.

What a nice wistful feeling of longing.
This reminded me of a poem by Sir Philip Sydney, 'from Astrophel and Stella'; stanza XXX1.

Thank you, Bill.

A gentle, tranquil poem that I enjoyed.

BTW: Be careful what you ask for, John - you might end up in the lunatic asylum. LOL

Thanks, Magi.

Awesome John, There is a lovely lilt to this poem and a sincerity that makes it shine. Congrats on POD!

Thank you most kindly, Atticus,

Just beautiful. And congratulations on poem of the day.

Thank you, A. F.

What magical words, you have blessed us with!

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Thanks, Angela.

Well deserved poem of the day, John

Thank you, Richard.

Congratulations on Poem of the Day! There's no place like home.

Thank you, Marge.

No Place like Home, Lovely John.

Thank you, Angie.

We all need to belong, and home ought to be that first place we felt loved and safe. I love your different perspectives, John. The moon would never question where it belonged, but we at times wonder...well, I do. "This world is not my home, I'm only passing through", a hymn line I identify with.

Congratulations on your POD in recognition of your special talent !

Thank you for your generous comment, Marianne.

congratulations on the Poem of the Day, well deserved, love, Elsie

Thank you, Elsie.

So beautiful. Well-deserved win. Congratulations.

Thank you, Sheila.

By its high vantage also keeping home
Illuminated through the darkest night.

Love this...

Thank you, Greg.

Dang! I would have never figured out what a tritina was without this superb example. To understand, I took more time than I usually do reading and then rereading it. Made me wispful for home as I sit at home. Very well done.

I hope you don't mind a couple of suggestions. I realize you wrote this in one day and had to keep in form for the type of poem it is, so not only are these afterthoughts without a deadline, but one might even kill it as a tritina. That makes these merely suggestions to think over - not necessities.

"Suddenly." Since you're "drenched with thoughts of home," I'm not sure "suddenly" is needed. Who gets drenched slowly or over a long period of time? "Drenched" is such a perfect word, it feels as if "suddenly" softens it too much.

And the suggestion that could ruin the form itself? The passive verb "was." (Again, I understand the perimeters, including how much time you were given to write this, so changing that is a big decision.) Swapping the lines around could make this a more active, intense poem. Guaranteed, it ruins it as a tritina.

Just ideas to think over. I do see this as fantastic already, and being a Not-Poet, it's not often I can give suggestions to a full-fledge Poet. Hope you don't mind.

Thank you kindly for the thought and analysis you have put into this, Lynn. I much appreciate your comment. Yes, alea jacta est with the challenges this month; that doesn't prohibit learning from them after they have been submitted. Thanks again.

Congratulations, John. Know these sentiments well. I still dream of my grandmother's house.

Thank you kindly, Lynn.