Chris was suspended today for fighting. He was suspended just before Spring Break, as well, turning his Spring break into 14 days as opposed to 10. Yesterday was the first day back.
Both fights were with the same kid. Both times, the other kid purposely antagonized Chris (according to the school, NOT Chris- I take the school at their word when it comes to things like this, because Chris has perception issues, and perceives things to be worse than they are quite often).
In the first fight, Chris and the other boy were horsing around before class, when the other kid took a notebook of Chris's, and refused to give it back. He was taunting Chris, and when Chris finally grabbed it back, the other kid knocked Chris down- that part could have been an accident, we never heard for sure.
When Chris got back up, he was angry. That's another problem Chris has, and it goes hand and hand with perception. If he thinks the push was on purpose, he's going to be mad, and he'll retaliate. He threw a punch at the kid, the kid threw one back. They were broken up at that point, and both suspended for 3 days.
Today's fight sounds more one sided.
Chris and another kid were hanging out on the playground when this other kid (the same as before) came up, and stood in front of Chris, blocking him from getting to the kid he was playing with. The kid kept getting in Chris's face. At some point, Chris accidently hit the kid- that's according to all the kids who were watching, not Chris. The other kid started to chase Chris, then tackled him and punched him. Chris tried to run away, but once he started getting punched, he fought back.
Both kids are suspended for 5 days this time. From what I gather of the event, though, it seems to me that no adults were near by to stop it this time, and more than just 1 punch was tossed by both boys.
From where I stand, had Chris just laid on the ground and taken a beating, he would be in school still. That frustrates me. I don't teach my kids to fight, but I am also not going to let them just sit around getting antagonized and beaten on without sticking up for themselves.
I don't condone fighting. But, in this instance, I'm rather glad Chris didn't just lay there getting whaled on by the other kid, too.
He is getting homework sent home on Thursday, so that he won't fall further behind in school, which is nice, since the last suspension caused him to fall behind already, and he hasn't been able to make up from that yet.
When Chris got home, I asked if the other kid has been bothering him at other times, and he said no. He said they were never friends, but they just always left each other alone before the first fight.
So frustrating. I do feel Chris should be punished for his part in both fights. However, I feel like the other kid is kind of antagonizing him, and now he knows it works, what's to stop him from continuing to antagonize him? Next time it happens, it's a 10 day suspension, and Chris can NOT afford that.
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Comments: 18
I don't condone fighting. But, in this instance, I'm rather glad Chris didn't just lay there getting whaled on by the other kid, too.
Some times, if a kid gets to stay home, it becomes more vacation than punishment.
I would like to just see them not talking to each other, and just leaving each other alone.
Though, I do agree, it can be a vacation depending on how the parents handle it. If I weren't able to be home with him during the day, it would definitely be less of a punishment.
Nick had a lot of problems about this age. His parents transferred him to a private school that catered to rich kids in Mt Pleasant in 5th grade. He was the new kid, and not rich, so he was bullied a lot. When he hit 7th grade, he sprouted, and was suddenly taller and more filled out than the rest of the kids, and the tables turned.
If Chris were a bit bigger and more filled out, I think they'd leave him alone.
Pher was bullied a little. Someone tried to bully Angela and she hauled off and smacked him. That ended that....
after doing this for so long he got her down and spit in her mouth. Then the very same day in class he was calling her names. Finally getting tired of it all she started screaming at him and was suspended. I went to school and went from the teacher up to , all the way to the supertendant. I told them they had better call the kids parents or I would. Plus I would file charges on the family and the school for letting this happen.
Because I've never been in his situation I have trouble understanding- I've always been of the mindset that the person who retaliates is the one who ends up in trouble, as is usually the case with my oldest. So I'd rather them NOT fight back and just leave. But I try to see it from his viewpoint since he was a victim himself. I hate the thought that my kid will get in trouble and be punished because someone else started something.